Fattie2Fittie

Week 66 Round up

2012-02-06T09:00:00.000Z

Weight loss: 0 LBS!!!!!

What a week!
I have been unable to exercise at all! I had my Mirena removed and the less than sympathetic nurse didn't think about it being snagged up somewhere in my womb and as she rather brutally yanked it out on the count of 3, it hurt like hell! I've had these things taken out before and they were never this painful. I also never had so much bleeding and pain that followed in the week after removal.
I couldn't walk anywhere, let alone consider doing any exercise.
The week's weight loss started well and by Thursday I had been at a 2lb loss for the week (hitting my 100 lb total loss mark) for 3 days! Then Friday and the weekend happened and my frustration about not being able to exercise hit me.
Too much wine and chocolate later ........ I had put back on those 2 lbs and today's weigh in showed a maintain from last week's weigh in. Which, considering everything, I guess isn't too bad.
The thing is, I'm not sure when I can get back to regular training.
I am due to go to the clinic on Thursday to have a new Mirena fitted, so that'll mean at least another week after that of not being able to work out (I will seek advice from the doctor as to how soon I can run again). So, that leaves me with a small window of 3 days to fit in as much running as I can. I'm not even sure if I am okay to run. I will go out after I've written this for a slow and very steady 5K circuit. Also, we've had heavy snow this weekend, which is still laying on the roads, so I'm not sure how icy and slippy my route is going to be. I will take it cautiously and if the route looks too bad I will just have to come back home.
But I'm going to go mad if I don't get out there and at least try to run!

My weight loss has seriously slowed since October and I haven't been able to hit the 2lb loss every week that I'm aiming for. I really need to workout more, maybe that will help. Once this current Mirena thing is sorted out then I plan on seriously upping my running. I have a half marathon to aim for in July and various 10k & 5K's before then.

My ultimate aim is to run or workout twice a day. I haven't formulated the plans yet but I'm thinking this is the kind of intense thing I need to do. Not just to lose the weight but to get myself up to a serious competition level and to keep my mind sane. Running is not just a means to get fit and help with weight loss, it's my hobby, my life, the air that I breathe and most of all ..... my sanity!
I need to figure out different meal times for the day too - so I can fit in the second run without going out on a full stomach!
I can't wait for summer to come so I can run up in the woods again.
I have big running plans for this year and I am itching to get them underway. I feel incredibly frustrated at the delay in my plans due to my Mirena Coil.
Now that I've finally worked out my Glucose issues, I can't wait to get out there and see what i can do with proper glucose levels.
I have for some time been considering changing my blog to a different host. I was thinking about Wordpress but I like the simplicity and easy to use style of Blogger but I feel I just want more.
I have toyed with the idea of paying a small monthly fee for my own blog site. I'm not sure yet what I will do. At the moment I am playing around with Wordpress. I just feel that my blog is kind of lost here on Blogger. I'd like it to 'get out there' more and have more readers. I advertise my blog as much as I can on all the places I go - like WW forums, You Tube, etc etc.
Anyway, I best go put my running shoes on and see what the roads are like!
Catch you again soon! xox

Women's issue with weight loss

2012-02-01T13:16:00.000Z

Okay, this post might not be everyone's cup of tea and perhaps the men folk should look away now!
Basically, I'm going to talk about my own personal experiences with the Mirena coil and weight loss.
I had my first Mirena coil inserted about 15/16 years ago after the birth of my son and due to complications during pregnancy and labour it was said that I should avoid pregnancy again, plus the damage to my womb meant a foetus would not be able to survive.
After all my immediate issues were sorted out I was given the Mirena.
My coil lasted the 5 years it should with no problems what-so-ever!
My second coil lasted 5 years too but the last coil I had since then has been replaced/removed twice because of it becoming displaced.
Now, I know there are a lot of folk who do not approve of the mirena but each to their own and if that's your opinion, then that's fine and bear in mind some things suit some people and some things don't.
I believe the displaced coils could possibly be due to my weight loss (also the last possibly due to using the Vibro machine at the gym and realising you're not supposed to use it if you have a coil fitted!).

But anyway, I am pretty sure that losing 7 stone (100lbs) does affect your internal shape, you only have to look at this picture above to see how the fat inside your body gathers around your internal organs and can squash things around in there. So... maybe, just maybe, it is possible that losing lots of weight since I had this particular coil fitted has affected it's position.
Also, I am unfortunate enough to be blessed with a retroverted uterus - something else which can could affect it I guess.
But anyways, 2 days ago I had a scan to confirm my coil had moved and whilst they were checking that, they also discovered some tiny cysts on my right ovary (something I have been aware of for a very long time and they haven't grown in size and are actually quite common), but they also found a rather nasty looking fibroid on the left ovary and I have to go back and see my doctor about this next week. Funnily enough, I've read that the Mirena coil is used as a treatment with Fibroids, so it's just another reason to carry on with it for me.
Plus, I have to say, I didn't find I gained weight with the Mirena - I was fat when I was initially fitted with one - the pregnancy made me put on weight and the depression that followed that, and the ill health that meant I couldn't exercise for 26 weeks or so!
In fact, I've lost all my 7 stone (100lbs) since I've had the Mirena fitted. Maybe it makes the weight harder to shift, but even so, losing weight is never an easy process for anyone at the best of times.
Before I had the Mirena I had the worst periods ever. Heavy bleeding, frequent periods and so much pain that i'd be crippled up on the floor. I'd certainly never be able to exercise or run. I even became anaemic.
So, I kinda like not having periods now. Mine have all but stopped. Occasionally I might get the odd day of 'spotting' but that's it. It doesn't interfere with my exercise or my running.
I appreciate some folks have had bad experiences with them but there are others who have had positive reviews. I'm just one of the lucky ones.
But anyways, this blog isn't about telling anyone if they should or shouldn't get one, it is about how weight loss can possibly affect things we don't necessarily think of.

As I stand at the moment, I am coil-less. I had it removed yesterday and am experiencing the minor cramping discomfort that you get but I know it'll soon pass, it's nothing major and tomorrow I am popping off to the clinic to see if I can get a new one - my doctor doesn't have any empty vacancies to do it herself!

Having one inserted is a little more uncomfortable that having one out, it's just stomach cramps and to be honest - they're nothing worse than the ones I had when I used to have regular periods. It's just your cervix contracting back into shape after being dilated.
It soon passes after a couple of days and most people take some kind of pain relief but I've not tended to as I am used to feeling a bit of pain - you know you're alive that way! haha
It will however mean I won't be able to run or exercise for about a week as I want to let things settle down and the post insertion bleeding stop (which I hasten to add isn't heavy bleeding!).

I just have to find myself something productive to do whilst not exercising AND keep food off my mind as I won't have any extra Activity Points to use on eating! Yikes! How will I cope?! haha. I'm sure I'll be fine.
Well, next week I guess I'll find out more about the Fibroid issue and hope it doesn't require surgery - I have a major phobia about general anaesthetics and If I'm going through all of that - I wonder if they can do a tummy tuck whilst they're down there?! lol

Finally a break through!

2012-01-23T15:12:00.001Z

I have so much to report here, so bear with me...
Firstly, my weigh in this week showed a 2 lb loss! YAY! This is amazing because I have been stuck in plateau for months now and even though I was sticking to my Points I still wasn't shifting any weight. This week I still stuck to my weight but I lost weight! Something feels different inside now, I feel this is it - that the weight is going to carry on melting away now. It's kinda like trying to break through a wall and this time I feel my body has finally given in and more weight loss will start to follow every week now!

I'm still eating healthy and I'm still on Weight Watchers ProPoints. I decided to try and 'Filling & Healthy' day on Saturdays which was chosen for a reason. I usually find it easy to stick to my healthy eating plan for the first half of the week, it started getting tricky around Thursday though. But now I can get through Thursdays and even Friday - except Friday evening's I probably over indulge in a little too much wine. Then Saturday I'm always feeling seriously hungry and I had been chomping on too many Points then Sunday (day before weigh in) felt like all hope was gone, so I just blurred through Sunday! But with Filling and Healthy on a Saturday then I can easily move on from any wine indulgence on Friday (I run on Saturdays at the moment now too!, so Saturday I do my long run then I can fill up (until satisfied only) during Saturday, leaving me less hungry for Sunday and easier to stick to plan.
The first week I was nervous and unsure if I could trust myself to recognise when I was satisfied and I guess I got it wrong last week when I had a 1.6lb gain (but I think a lot of that was bloating due to having too much bread that weekend and me being Gluten sensitive), but this week I listened harder to my body and ate smaller portions. Even though I still felt really guilty eating it and as I was putting it in my mouth I couldn't help but wonder if I was putting on weight with every mouthful!
It's not that it's a bad plan but to get to where I am - a 7 stone weight loss, it has taken serious self control and to let myself go a bit like this, it felt like driving without a seat belt. I mean, we all wear seat belts when driving and if you were to ever drive without your safety belt, you'd feel pretty insecure and unsafe wouldn't you? Well, that was what Filling and Healthy was like for me.
But I think I've learnt how to work it now and I NEED to eat all of my weekly points too - but being careful about what I actually use them on!
So, I am going to continue with Filling & Healthy for now.
So that's the food part taken care of.....

Now for my running....
Okay, when I first started running, doing C25K whilst weighing somewhere around 230 lb I felt it was hard, but then I knew it would be and I always consoled myself with the knowledge that running gets easier the fitter you get and the more weight you lose.
So, I was feeling frustrated that weighing in at 178 lbs and having been a 'runner' for 2 years, that running still felt hard. Oh sure, I'd had the occasional run that felt easier and I felt best when running in the woods/hills. But trying to break 5K in under 30 minutes was becoming a major issue as every time I ran it when trying to push for that sub 30, I physically couldn't hit my target time. I felt I was pushing myself to 100% and I couldn't physically give any more. My legs felt heavy, I felt cumbersome and I struggled with energy and stamina. I've been working my butt off in the gym, I have leg muscles - I know because I can see them! So, surely, with losing weight, gaining muscle, running for 2 years - I should be able to crack sub 30 5K's. I know of people who weigh more than I do who can achieve it. I pondered all sorts of things, maybe I wasn't a natural runner - but I knew this isn't true as I ran at County level when at school. Maybe my osteoarthritis was holding me back - erm, no, it's getting better the fitter I get and having stronger muscles in my legs has really helped, so what was it?
Well, maybe it took my dad's recent Diabetes to finally find out why!
After a 5K race last summer I ended feeling very unwell, nauseated, breaking out in a cold sweat, shaky hands, pulse elevated, feeling faint. I had a strange metal/blood taste in my mouth too. One of the medics mentioned that it seemed like hypoglycemia. I had a diabetes blood test which came back okay.
So, after suddenly swotting up on Hypoglycemia and Diabetes because of my dad's recent diagnosis I was pretty sure I do suffer from exercise induced hypoglycemia.
So... as an experiment I decided to take some glucose tablets with me out on my run on Saturday.
I took these.....

I had read on line that someone suggested taking one at the start of exercise then one every 15 minutes.
I also swapped my usual Powerade Zero

for standard Powerade

Someone previously mentioned to me that it's a waste to bother taking the Zero/Lite versions of sports drinks out on a run as it's basically just flavoured water and I won't be getting the things I need from such drinks.
Okay, so, armed with a regular Powerade and 4 Dextro tablets I set off on a route that was full of hills and nearly 4 miles long. I know that 4 miles is hardly long distance but it's the farthest I've run since last summer! And, if I'm hypoglycemic then the distance isn't an issue - it'll come on (as it usually does) even during a 5K run!).
I took my first Dextro at the start and hit the road, took my second Dextro just as I hit a major long drawn out climb of a hill and for the first time EVER - I ran the whole damn way! I ran the hardest part of the route and I didn't feel bad! Going downhill again my legs soon recovered and didn't feel tired like they usually do. 15 minutes later I popped another Dextro in my mouth as I started the final big long climb - again, I have had to walk near the top in the past but this time I ran it all! I opened up on the final 500 metres and felt great doing about an 8.50 minute mile.
I finished feeling perfectly fine, no stomach problems like I've had in the past and after 5 minutes I felt I could go run the 5K route on top of what I'd just done!
I was even 'higher' and happier than normal after a run! haha
I admit that in the afternoon I felt a bit sicky - like I'd eaten too many sweets and my heart was racing a little. So.... I am just going to tweak how often I have the Dextro. I guess you don't know until you try and it is all trial and error.
It was so nice to finish feeling like I could do it all again - 5 minutes later AND the day after AND not have that horrible taste in my mouth.
I guess this is how everyone else feels after a run?
Well, my plan now is to start increasing mileage but I'm going to forget about chasing the sub 30 5K for a couple of months. I need to figure out this hypoglycemic thing and exactly what I need to do to get my levels stable during a run.
Of course, I'm going to discuss this with the doctor when I see him next and see what his advice is for hypoglycemic runners is but I suspect it will be to do what I'm already doing.
I'm going to try experimenting with...

Shot blocks, I think they're higher in carbs than Dextro but I need to try these things out just to figure out what it is my body has an issue with/is lacking.
I brought some Shot Blocks a while ago but never got round to using them - thinking 5K that I was running at the time was too short a distance to require things like this - but maybe it's not if your body has a genuine need and some kind of issue.
Right, I'm gonna bounce off now to nibble on an apple.
Fingers crossed I've finally found out why my times weren't improving and why running ALWAYS seemed a flat out effort - hey - maybe my heart rate won't need to go up so high too!

Keep Calm & Carry On!

2012-01-18T11:34:00.001Z

Last Saturday I tried having a 'Healthy & Filling' day. I knew Saturday's are a bad day for me so went with this latest idea from Weight Watchers and was mindful of portion sizes AND stopping eating when I felt full.
I actually struggled to eat my planned meals and certainly didn't require any snacking! I thought it had gone well and was looking forward to checking my weight the next morning.
However, the scales were not being nice to me - it showed a 2 lb gain in one day! OMG!
Well, this could be several things; maybe I could have been more strict with what I ate - but I WAS following the plan as intended but I also felt very bloated and gaseous (haha), so maybe what I ate shocked my system or perhaps it was more carb-like food which due to my gluten intolerance issues also means I get a bit bloaty. Anyways, by the time Monday came round (Weigh In) day, I had lost some of that but even so, I still had a 1 lb gain from the previous Monday's Weigh In.

I won't let it go to my head or start moaning that H&F doesn't work. I will try again this Saturday and see what happens.
As we all know, sometimes there doesn't seem to be much sense to this weight loss lark, take this week so far as an example; firstly, on Weigh In day I feel like a hippo and weigh in like a hippo up a 1lb at 12 stone 11.8 lb (179.8 lb) and following a recent discovery that an online weight loss buddy found - in regards to drinking water - I decided to drink more water during Monday and Holy Hell, Tuesday's scale check showed a 3.6 lb loss! Damn - if only Tuesday had been my official Weigh In day eh?!
Well, yesterday (Tuesday), I was really busy and had a dental appointment to sort out my crown and a doctors appointment in the afternoon and perhaps I didn't drink enough - the scales this morning (Wednesday) showed a 1.4 lb gain! It was eve more annoying because yesterday I stuck bang on to my 27 Daily Points Allowance and I even earned 2 Activity Points which I didn't use. Maybe it was just 'one of those things'. But hey ho, either way, it won't stop me in my tracks, it only makes me more determined to kick some ass!

Tracking like a demon & analysing things!

2012-01-12T14:01:00.000Z

Well, I am Tracking like a woman possessed! Everything going in my mouth (even if it's zero points, goes down in my journal!

Today I hit the gym, did hill run on the treadmill, along with some power walking, lots of stretches for my ITB, Adductor and Abductor weight machine, barbell work, Assisted dip machine for dips and pull ups, weight row machine, leg press machine and Russian twists with a weighted medicine ball.

All in all a great workout, however, I did notice that my heart rate was a bit slow to return to normal during cool down and then afterwards I discovered I have a woman's problem! Without going into too much detail and scaring all the men who read my blog, my monthlies have been irregular over the past month and I've had 'spotting' following exercise.

I have been under quite a lot of stress recently and yesterday was quite a bad day on that front.

But I felt fine working out, I worked hard but it was a great workout. I didn't feel I'd pushed myself too hard or harder than I have in the past.

Anyways, I'm going to make a doctors appointment to get it checked out tomorrow.

I am kinda worried about it - I tend to think the worst but maybe it's something of nothing. I will try NOT to worry excessively!

But back to the gym; I need to tone my belly up. I think I have some degree of excess skin there but I think there is also still a roll of fat, so I'm going to focus on doing more about that and today I did Russian Twists with a medicine ball:

No, it isn't me in the picture! haha. If only!

Once I get this 'woman's issue' sorted I shall attempt to do some kind of stomach exercise everyday and also might try doing press ups every day too. I have to be careful with stomach exercises because of my lower back problems but the above Russian twist (with feet on the floor) seemed okay and i didn't have any pain doing it at all. In fact, I could have done more than the 50 I did - could have doubled it but thought it best to start off gradually. ha ha

I saw lots of new gym members today, I hope they weren't worrying about the regulars staring at them. I can now say that as a regular gym-goer, I hardly really notice what the new people are doing - I'm way too wrapped up in sweating my own a$$ off!

It's kind of sad when I see new members at the start of the new year because I fear they are just going through the excitement of New Year resolutions and I wonder how many will still be regular members in a couple of months time. Don't get me wrong - it's excellent that people are making a change, doing something positive about their health and fitness, but there was nothing stopping them from making these changes during the other stages of the year. But anyway, it's nice to see new faces and I will try to make an effort of remembering to watch out for who keeps up their New Year resolutions and I will look forward to seeing the change in their bodies over time from being a gym member!

I have to say, that I believe my body has changed the most since I joined the gym, it was one of the best things I ever did - oh, that and joining Weight Watchers of course! ha ha

But for the physical changes, the gym tops everything - even the running. The running is good and helps burn calories, de-stresses the mind and tones the legs but I needed to shift the wobbly bits around my torso, chest, arms etc as well as sort out muscular imbalances in my legs - which were even more apparent when running and were causing me pain and issues when I did run.

Anyways, post gym lunch looked like this:

I had a healthy low fat Subway Club, on a 6" Wheat bread, packed with lettuce, cucumber, red onion, gherkins, olives and green pepper! It comes in at 8 WW ProPoints, so it's not too bad point wise, plus I've earned points exercising and I need to keep eating my Activity Points to be able to fuel my body.
I also had a diet coke with it - but no macadamia white choc chip cookie to make it a meal as that's 6 Points and I consider too high for a cookie and If I haven't earned it, I'm not going to eat it!
After dinner later I shall be going for a 2 mile walk to add to my points to make sure I stay within my range.
I have analysed how I use my points and can see where my weakness lies. I find that the first half of the week goes great, I stick to points and lose weight on a daily basis, however, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday is where my downfall lies.... I go over my points. I feel more worn out and tired and thus peckish during the latter part of the week. I am an emotional comfort eater by nature and when I get stressed I get tired and the tiredness then tells my brain I'm hungry - but I'm not, it's just tiredness and stress.
So.....now I know where the problem lies, I am going to fix it!
It isn't a simple case of eating within points during the latter part of the week, it's not that easy. Yes, it's straight forward but not easy and there's stress hormones rushing around my body at the time.
So.... my plan of action is to rack up Activity Points during the first half of the week and still earn some every day for the latter part. I shall work on extending my 'good days' a day at a time! If I jump into this then I might become disheartened and think it's too hard and then all that negative thought stuff kicks in and guess what I do when I get negative?!
Right, so I am extending my 'Good days' to cover Thursday for the next 2 weeks, it doesn't mean that Friday, Saturday and Sunday I'm going to stuff my face or lapse but ti means I'm extending my concentrated effort to Thursdays too. Then 2 weeks after that, I will extend to Fridays. etc etc. My aim is to eat ProPoints every day except Saturday, when i shall take a 'day off' (but not really - let me explain!) Saturdays are going to be my day of 'Filling and healthy' eating! I won't be tracking points (unless I have something non F&H) but I will plot out what I'm going to eat in my menu planner and stick to it. I will be eating more but not things that will make me gain weight, so hopefully that'll get me through the weekend slump! I will of course be back to tracking on Sunday AND Friday night and Sunday lunchtime I will allow myself a drink of wine from my Weekly allowance. So I don't feel I'm depriving myself of anything and wine helps to relax me.
So there you have it - a plan of action! It seems to be working so far - the first week I lost 5.4lb and I'm looking good for a loss on Monday - if i stick to my plan of action!

Weight Watcher Goodies

2012-01-10T18:04:00.000Z

A rather big and heavy box arrived the other day, it was a glorious box of Weight Watcher goodies that I had ordered.

Inside the box was:

Kitchen Scales, My Food Plans (replacing the old Menu planner), My Recipes Binder, Recipe Cards for Meat, Vegetarian, Poultry and Fish), Eat Out book, Shop book and My Journal..

I'm really pleased with everything. But I guess the only thing that was a little off-putting was that the My Food Planner is a day a page with only 43 pages, yet the previous Menu Planner could plan 12 weeks, yet I believe they are the same price. Also, if you only buy a couple at a time, the postage is £3 something, so it's going to work out more expensive than the previous planner. Having said that, it is a wonderful little planner and there is more space to write down Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and Snacks.

Post Christmas Weigh in

2012-01-02T20:41:00.001Z

Weight: 183.2lbs (13 st 1.2lb).

A total of 3.2lb gain for the whole 2 week period of Xmas and new year!
That's not too bad. Last year I gained 6lb in the same time!

I'm going to do a 2011 review and goals for 2012, but gotta wait until I'm sat at my computer as I'm just using my smartphone to update here.

Just after Xmas I had to rush my dad to hospital with diabetes symptoms and he is now diagnosed with type 3 diabetes! He was released from hospital only today as they struggled to get his glucose levels down. They're still way too high but we're hoping for advice tomorrow when he rings up the diabetes clinic.
In the meantime, I've taken his car away from him because his vision is affected and so at least I have a car to get around in at present.
I'm spending lots of time checking up on my parents, because, if you remember, my mum has health issues too! So.... I'm driving them to their various appointments, taking them shopping and helping them out in general.
I am still going to fit in daily workouts - regardless of how early or late I have to do them. I'm sticking to my daily points too!
I'm already feeling tired and run down - despite charging my batteries over Xmas! But things have been so stressful and I've been getting little sleep - due to spending nights at hospital.
Tomorrow I'm off to have the first session at the dentist of having a crown put on my tooth - something I'm not looking forward to!

Announcement: I'm going to wear a skirt!

2011-12-15T15:23:00.001Z

It has been many years since I last wore a dress/skirt in public - in fact, I think I was 9 years old oh and then when I was about 20 when I got married, but that didn't count because it was a very long skirt and only my parents, brother and husband to be were the only ones who saw me because we had a very small and private wedding and no, before you ask, I did not wear a wedding dress (boo hoo!).
So.... with the village annual Christmas dinner looming large on Friday 16th December, I made the decision that I wanted to wear a dress/skirt. I had watched and bid for hours on EBay and...... flipping well gone and lost! Ugh!
There were several dresses that caught my eye and there was a 'Buy it Now' one too but my budget didn't stretch to it.
Upon the realisation that I'd have to spend another year wearing jeans because that's all I had (I don't own skirts!) and then hit with the second realisation that the top I always match with my jeans when going out doesn't fit me anymore because I have shrunk and it gives ample opportunity for my less than ample bosom to reveal itself and bra straps to app[ear without notice, I actually told considered cancelling our booking!
WTF?! Since when have I ever been so bothered about wearing a dress or skirt that I'd actually consider cancelling a booking because i couldn't wear one?!
So strange and so unlike me - but then, I am not really the 'old me' anymore am i?
Wearing a dress or skirt had become something more than just a fashion statement, it meant I could fit in with everyone else, for once in my life I could feel female and look smart.
As a farmers daughter I spent all my life in jeans or riding jodhpurs and never considered my 'horse riders legs' were safe to be seen in such things as skirts! As my legs got fatter, I lost the definition between foot, ankle and calf, then my calves lost definition from my knee and thigh and ...... well, you get the picture.
I know I suffer from body dysmorphic disorder and when I was bigger - I never could see how big I was, now I am getting smaller - I can't see how much smaller I am, and I still think/know there are areas of my body that are bigger than the average (well, that's what I think/know) and this causes problems when buying clothes, because when i was big - I simply brought the biggest clothes on the rail, but now I am going down in clothes size it's more of an issue - I can't simply hold up a skirt or pair of jeans to my waist and compare the size of the waist band and quickly form an opinion of whether they'll fit or not because EVERYTHING looks too small to fit me now. Yet, I do know that now I am fitting into some of those clothes that when I hold them up I think "too small for me!".
Anyways, back to the story...
Yes, I wanted to wear a dress to look like everyone else, to look grown up and feminine, instead of Tom Boy-esque. Every time i go anywhere there are always women who turn up looking like ..... women! They look pretty, nice dress, make up, hair and everybody is drawn to them like a magnet. Damn, they just look so grown up and everything I'm not. It makes me feel less of a woman!
Well, today is the penultimate day - if i don't find something now in the charity shop, I never will and it'll be too late!
I don't have oodles of cash and because I am still on my diet journey and shrinking, I see no sense in forking out lots of money on clothes that in 2 or 3 months time will not fit me. Once I get to my goal weight/size I will start investing in clothes. So... that leaves me with a limited search area to find my Christmas dress!
Oh and did I mention I have no fashion sense? Who needs fashion sense when you live in jeans and riding clothes?!
But I have seen programmes on the subject and seen Gok Wan and Trinny and Susannah rescue people from their ever increasingly drab wardrobes. So, armed with subliminal programming, off I trundled!

I checked every shop in town and ended up in the one that seems to have the best selection and lots of brand new with tags clothes too!
In there I found my answers! I found a straight black just over knee length pencil skirt (UK size 14), I wasn't sure if I'd fit into it but took the chance as there was nothing else!
Then I found a nice black and silver sparkly shiny top but it was off the shoulder and I don't want everyone seeing my bra straps! I liked the way the top had kinda bat wing thingies and was kinda loose cut - I wanted that top but had to find something to layer underneath it! Then I found a shiny sparkly red sleeveless fitted top with a tiny cowl style neck, oh it looked perfect and was on the size UK 16 rail. I wasn't confident I'd fit into a 14 and this top was very fitted looking! So I decided to get it. Then I came up with the idea that I should buy a big belt that I could do up loose hanging around my hips!

The idea is like this picture - the belt slung low on the hips. Of course, I'm not wearing anything like her dress at all!
I found the perfect belt - kind of silver and about 3 inches wide. I looked at it and wondered if it would fit around my hips. I've never had a belt big enough to fit around them before, hell, i struggled to get the flipping things to fit around my waist!
I took a chance a purchased the whole assemble and it came in at a wonderful £13!
Then I made a visit to my local M&S to purchase some tights to hide my legs. I decided upon a pair of 'slimming' tight! Yay! I carefully regarded the sizing chart on the back of the packet and decided to get the size up as I was borderline being on the Medium size. The tights were expensive - £6 something for just one pair! They better be slimming!
I couldn't find any shoes to buy to go with the ensemble so figured I will have to work it with ankle boots as that's all I have with heels at home!
Once home I set about trying on my purchases. Pleased that they were all brand spanking new too!
The skirt fits a treat! The red top turns out to be a UK size 14! Shock horror! But it's okay - it fits! Yay!
Then the silver and black top and that fits too! The belt is massive actually and will be in danger of sliding off my hips unless I find the exact right spot to sit it on! hehe.
Then it was the tights turn!
Hmmmmmm....... I got one leg in - just and realised I could get injured trying to get the second leg in! After much wriggling, carefully pulling up and sweating and swearing I waddled off like a penguin to my full length mirror ...... hmmmmmm... Well, I got them on but I couldn't possibly go out in them! There are several issues here:
1) They make me walk like a penguin because...
2) The crotch is half way down my thighs, because ...
3) they are too tight/small!
I believe they are sold as 'slimming tights' but are in fact really just tights that are two sizes TOO SMALL!
hahaha
I weighed up my chances of further wriggling and the possibility of maybe wearing them after all but then realised if when I get drunk at the party I will need to use the toilet - because of all the booze I'm drinking and the thought of trying to re-dress myself in these tights in a tight fitting toilet cubicle would not only be impractical but the cnahes of me OR the tights getting injured is VERY high!
Therefore I will adopt plan B (yes, I have a plan B you know!). I purchased a 3 pack pair of cheap tights from Tesco along with my grocery order last week. I tried them on and although I must be careful not to snag or ladder them, I think they'll do the job. I'm not going to wear false nails, so I should be okay.

That's the clothes taken care of. As for the make up - I sought a friend's advice who works in a beauty/make up shop. I needed help to hide the bags/dark circles under my eyes from my recent insomnia!
She found something in the right shade and advised on how to use it. I also found some nice red festive looking nail varnish and red lipstick to match. the lipstick says it stays put for .... basically forever! Has to be removed with oil based make up remover. I have make up remover wipes, so I hope they do the job! I guess I should have tried the lipstick before the event but I haven't and I hope it doesn't turn into a permanent tattoo thing on my face if I can't get it off! I anted something that'd stay put as on the rare occasions when I do tart myself up with make up, I always end up losing all my lipstick as soon as I have my first drink!
I will take my shiny pink sequin bag - it doesn't really match anything but it's festive looking so it'll do!
I have to say, I am seriously nervous and yet excited at the same time.
I hope no-one thinks I look daft or odd because I'm wearing a skirt, because no-one in this village has ever seen me wearing a skirt! This is a serious milestone in my life - along with the fact that when I weighed myself post run yesterday I had got to the 100 lbs lost milestone! It's not official until Monday weigh In's, so unless I weigh the same Monday, it won't count! But for one day it did count and I hit 100 lbs lost! yay!

Right, enough talking, I have kind of gone on this time, my apologies and thank you for bearing with me.

OMG, I'm gonna wear a skirt in public!

P.s. Apologies for any grammatical errors that I have over looked but my spell check is being a pleb! lol

Week 56 Weigh In

2011-11-21T12:26:00.001Z

Weight Today: 179.6 lb (12 st 11 and three quarters)

This weeks weight loss: Down 2.2 lbs!

Total Weight loss: 95.4 lbs

Total left to lose: 46.6 lbs

Week Round Up

The week had started out well. I didn't have any mad insatiable hungry episodes.

I decided to bring in additional tracking from now on to help focus me back on the weight loss path. Before I joined Weight Watchers I lost a decent amount of weight using the My Fitness Pal Smartphone app. So, I decided to use it alongside my Weight Watchers tracking. My Fitness Pal is soley aimed at calories in and out - plus I can see how much carbohydrate and protein i'm taking in as well as vitamins etc.

I use it so that if I feel hungry after a hard workout, I feel less guilty about dipping in to my Weekly Weight Watcher allowance points. I said I wouldn't but now things have changed (will explain about that in a minute).

It must be working because I had a 2.2lb loss this week and no hunger pangs.

Now .... onto THE CHANGE!

Saturday morning I checked my email to find one from Weight Watchers telling me they'd made some changes. I didn't know anything about any more changes being made - I thought the new Pro Points plan was all scientific and that we were all getting what we need etc.

Well, it appears maybe things weren't as scientifically right as they thought.

Now, don't get me wrong, i'm not saying this is a bad thing, I adapt and get stuck in. So it's not really an issue or a problem - i'm only concerned that I'm not fuelling right with the amount of exercise I do - I know I have Activity Points I can dip in to but that's post workout and if i'm running 10 miles and feel light-headed and ill, it's usually because i've not fuelled properly before hand. However, I am using the other tracker too so hopefully it'll help allay my fears.

I was previously on 29 Daily Points, i'm now down to 27. Only 2 Points difference but I balance on a fine knife edge with Points at the best of times. There is apparently a new filling style eating plan - where you don't need to track - just eat until satisfied (Hmmmm, now that'd be no good for me - so I haven't even read up on that one! lol). There is also an Activity Assessment that you take and it sets you a weekly Activity Point target. Except numpty girl here did her's wrong and now seems unable to change it! Have emailed WW and await their response.

I guess yes I got stuck on a plateau for a while - but you don't lose nearly 100 lbs and not expect to hit the odd plateau!

Plus, I noticed that when I am doing MORE exercise, then that's when I get stuck on a plateau - despite sticking to Points!

But anyways, I'm along for the ride with the new plan and lets see where it takes me. However, I WILL continue to use My Fitness Pal along side it.

I have had a good week controlling my intake of alcohol too. I know - it's empty calories but we all have our weaknesses, right? Besides, I pee so much that the alcohol doesn't stay in my system very long (I know, I know!). lol

Plan for Next Week

* Continue tracking with WW & My Fitness Pal (MFP)

* If knee stays sound, run two 5K distances this week

* Try to finish the menu planning for the festive period!

This week hasn't started well - due to emotional issues - surrounding family issues. I feel strong though and don't feel the need to comfort or emotional eat. I will try to keep in control of my eating, whatever life throws at me this week!

Week 55 Weigh in

2011-11-15T20:50:00.001Z

Weight today: 182 lb (13 stone)

This Week's Weight Loss: GAINED 2 LB!!!

Total Weight Loss: 91.6 lb

Total Left to Lose: 50.4 lb

Okay, it was a BAD week! My knee was still being an issue and meant I couldn't exercise. Not only was my inability to exercise upsetting my calorie burn and thus my weight loss, but it was screwing with my head!
I suffer from S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and a few other things were going on in my life that were causing me stress. So I lost control of my appetite and control over how much alcohol I was drinking. I just like a couple of glasses of wine several times a week. It's all empty calories and wasted Weight Watchers Points. I'd set out starting the week well but by Tuesday it had all gone pear shaped - a bit like my figure!
I was so unhappy with everything and so stressed that I even contemplated quitting weight loss. I said to my fiance that I'm not meant to be thin, I'm just naturally a curvy kinda gal. I guess I didn't really 100% mean I was going to quit, because I have come so far and it would depress me completely and unbearably if I put all the weight on again that I'd lost.
I just didn't know how to express my stress, frustration and depression with things so I took it out on food and threatened to quit. But who was I trying to hurt by saying that?! I can't hurt food, It's not a 'feeling' 'thinking' entity in that kind of way. I was just hurting myself by saying it all but maybe I was just trying to ask my fiance for help. I'm not sure what help I expected. Maybe I just wanted him to take care of everything else that was causing stress so I can focus on my weight loss. But I'm never very good at asking for help. I know I need help sometimes, but I'm often so lost in stress that I don't even know what help I need.
But anyways, the fact I couldn't exercise was a big problem and affected my emotions badly. I never thought I'd hear myself say that! Haha.
So, starting Monday, I put that 2lb gain behind me, it happened and crying or whining over it won't change it. Time to re-focus and do positive steps back onto the path of weight loss again.
I ran on Monday, only 2 miles but my knee seemed okay; not 100% but certainly no pain, it just felt kinda fragile.
As I'm writing this up on Tuesday, I can happily report that overnight I lost 1.8lb ( but that's unofficial because I don't log my weight until next Monday), my knee was fine this morning so I went to the gym for a session of upper body weights and 6 minutes on the summit climber (didn't want to push my knee!) and 30 mins on the recumbent bike. I felt really happy and enjoyed my Costa Latte afterwards!
I am on track with my Points so far this week, but I have a lunch date with my fiance and his relatives tomorrow, so I need to be strong and stick to my Points.
I'm going for my 2 mile run beforehand, so that'll help with some Activity Points but I don't want to go stupid and go into my Weekly Allowance.
In regards to the drink, I am going to have a glass of wine a couple of times a week if Points allow but I'm going to have it whilst I make dinner; that way I will be concentrating on the cooking and hopefully the wine can be sipped, thus lasting longer. Then my fiance can have his glass whilst having dinner because then I'll be distracted by my food! Haha, you see, it might sound crazy and silly but It's a plan that I've thought about and recognizes my weaknesses and how I can reduce the temptation to mess things up!
My main goal is to stick to the UK women's weekly alcohol unit allowance of 14. Which, according to my new plan, should be easy to achieve!
Right, let's get this busy week on the roll!

Week 54 Weigh In

2011-11-07T11:26:00.000Z

Weight today: 181.4 lb (12 Stone 13.8 lb)

This Week's Weight Loss: GAINED 1 LB!!!

Total Weight Loss: 93.6 lb

Total Left to Lose: 48.4 lb

Week Round Up

This past week I didn't exercise at all due to my bad knee. I also fell back into emotional eating at the middle/end of the week due to issues at home and being depressed about my knee. I went over my weekly allowance points by about 70! So..... considering I only gained 1 lb - I'm quite pleased about that.

I couldn't resist posting this photo of an Aubergine (Eggplant) that I purchased for use in one of my recipes.

Costa have now brought out their Festive menu and I just had to go and try it didn't it?! I knew it was going to be a bad week and so I indulged. My thinking was that it would get it out of my system and then come the new week I can get back on track 100%.
Here we have a Creme Bruleee Soya Latte, Stollen bites and Creme Brulee cupcake (I shared the stollen bites with my man! lol)

Saturday's dinner was a yummy Veg Tagine. It looked just like the book! hehe

This was Sunday's dinner - a most gorgeous Chicken and Pesto Roast Veg - again it looked just like the book! Nom nom!

So.... despite going over points and not exercising, I'm quite chuffed with my 1 lb gain. It really could have been worse.

Hopefully my knee will improve now and I can get back to working out on a daily basis and re-focus on my healthy eating.

October 1011 Review

2011-11-01T09:48:00.002Z

My exercise wasn't as I'd hoped for October. This was due to having to spend 1 week at home having new windows and doors fitted and another week off due to an injured knee.
So I'm not really surprised that I haven't lost inches from ALL over my body for the Monthly Measure. However, I am pleased that I've lost half an inch off my thigh, half inch off my upper arm (that will be all the tricep dips then!) and half inch under my bust.
Disappointed that I've only lost half a stone for October but then I have been stuck in plateau land.

I have also changed my weigh in day (twice!) during October and I believe I have now found a day that works for me. It's not just about picking a day when you think they'll you'll be at your lowest during the week - that's NOT why I changed my day. For me, it's been about psychological factors. When you're losing weight it's easy to be disheartened by the smallest thing - especially when you've been on this journey as long as I have! It's easy to start feeling "I can't lose any more, this is just my natural body weight and I guess I am stuck here forever".

I just had to find the right day that suited me. I know I'm going to go over Points a bit at the weekend, I admit, I like a drink or two. The weight loss journey isn't supposed to be about depriving yourself. When you start doing that, you know you're on a plan that you can't sustain!

I have never felt like I'm depriving myself with Weight Watchers but recently things became a little foggy, I became a little desperate at getting stuck on plateau and the whole weight loss turned into a feeling of fighting a losing battle. Sure, I've lost about 94lbs now but my battle isn't over. Yes, 94 lbs is a lot but I still have just over 40 lbs left to lose - that's still a lot too! It'd be easy to say I'll stop when I get to 100lbs lost but that amount isn't going to take me into my 'ideal' weight range. If I'm going to do this journey, I'm doing it all in one go and I'm finishing it next year before my 38th birthday!

So... back to October.....

It's been such a mentally testing month. I have recognised many times when I have had to fight the urge to comfort eat, but on a good level - I can see what situations drive me to it.

During October, I have also discovered a weight loss phenomenon; I became disheartened by gaining weight after pretty much every run over 5K, and during October I had upped my mileage and was running 10K a couple of times a week as well as my usual 5K. One of the 10K's was in the woods, so it was a hard hilly session. I began noticing I'd gain anything from 1.2 lb to 3lb over night after the run - obviously despite not eating anything in my sleep!

So I Googled this and found that we do indeed gain in the 24 hours after a run due to inflammation, water retention/ water loading etc etc. The amount quoted on average was 2.2lbs - strangely enough, that was my most frequent gain amount too! So I decided to watch this occurrence, not go into comfort eating mode due to the overnight gain, just stick with my plan and see what happens. Sure enough, the next day following my gain, I had lost that amount again!

So... October has taught me something - do NOT panic if you see an overnight gain on the scales following a run. It WILL disappear as quickly and as strangely as it appeared!

It's helped enormously, because now I do not go into panic mode that my weight loss has gone wrong. I just see it and say "Ahhhh, as expected. I'm totally okay with that as I know it's temporary and not a true gain".

All in all, October was a bit of a crappy month, not organized, not as much exercise as I wanted to put in and not enough weight lost!

I'm not disheartened though as I still lost 6 lbs and I lost inches and I'm another Stone closer to goal! October saw me break through the 13 stone barrier.

Lets get November under way then!

Monthly Measure

2011-11-01T08:34:00.002Z

November's figures

Weight: Down 6lbs

BMI: Down 0.8

Waist: Stays the same as last month

Hips: Stays the same as last month

Thigh: Down half inch.

Calf: Stays the same as last month.

Upper Arm: Down half inch.

Chest: Stays the same as last month;

Under Bust: Down half inch.

Dress Size: Stays the same.

I shall be adding my Body Composition figures as from next month as I've just switched settings on my handheld monitor and thus it won't give an accurate reading for this month.

Week 53 Weigh in

2011-10-31T11:57:00.001Z

Weight today: 180.4 lb (12 stone 12.8lb)
Total weight lost: 94.6 lbs
Weight left to lose: 47.4 lbs

Week Round up

I didn't exercise as much as I wanted to because of my 'good' knee playing up. Had an awesome weights session in the gym focusing on upper body. Couldn't raise my arms for 3 days afterwards! I kid you not!

The Upright Barbell Row exercise certainly works the exact muscles above - my Pecs really felt like they'd worked hard!

I didn't take a break really after each Barbell Row set, I just put the Barbell down, changed hand grip and got straight into Bicep curls! It didn't feel too tiring and certainly worked a treat!

I much prefer weigh in day being on a Monday now, although I do get a slight feeling of being 'lost' and off course when Saturday morning (my old weigh in day) rolls around. haha

I am glad that I am having consistent losses again.

I am due to measure myself tomorrow (1st of every month!) and I suspect I might not have much to show on that front due to not doing as much exercise as per usual - due to either ill health or the week off I had to take to be home for the guys to fit my new windows and doors!

This week is a bit 'off' too as I have the guy coming out anytime between 8am - 6pm to change the door on my new fridge freezer to the other side, plus my knee isn't 100%, but I'm sticking to tracking and eating within Points and i SHALL be doing workouts of some kind - depending on my knee. If the knee isn't any good, then it'll be a week of weights done at home on upper body.

Oh, I think i've figured out how to add multiple pictures to my blog via my Smartphone, so I am thinking about doing a daily food blog for a week or maybe more, to keep me accountable so I can keep moving down the scales to get to goal for asap in 2012!

I don't think i'll be able to hit goal by 1st feb 2012 as planned but anytime between March and my birthday on 31st May would be a good substitute.

I don't like to set dates really but this battle has gone on long enough and now I want to be at maintenance, so i need to focus on a date to encourage me forward.

Chillax Sunday

2011-10-30T17:29:00.001Z

Today started with a Costa blueberry muffin and a soya creme brulee latte. It was my Chillax Sunday; a time to relax a bit. I eat sensibly still but relax the rules on tracking for one day. I mindfully log in my brain what I eat so that I don't go over by too much.
Tomorrow is weigh in day. I'll be glad when I get to start my new workout week, but I've had to modify my plans a little as I tweaked something in my knee a couple of weeks ago and I took a week off. Things seemed better and I got back to exercise, but yesterday I simply stood up from the toilet and the damned thing tweaked again! Ugh!
It's not as bad as last time but I'm going to change my routine a little for this week so that I'm treadmill running tomorrow instead of road running.
It's annoying and a tad worrying because it's my 'good knee'. It's the one officially without osteoarthritis. I was hopefully because I had at least one good knee. If I'm honest, I'll reluctantly admit that I suspect osteoarthritis in this knee too. I'm due to see my chiropractor at the end of November, so, if things aren't right by then, I shall see what he makes of it.
In the meantime, I'm still pushing onwards with my half marathon training although obviously listening to my body/knee.
I shall be posting my weigh in tomorrow. I hope my Weight Watcher roast recipe hasn't weighed me down too much. Hehe

Expensive Motivation!

2011-10-26T16:13:00.000+01:00

The last month or so has been a bad one for me, I have been stuck on plateau and just simmering up and down but now I have a plan! My weigh ins on the list here are slightly screwed up date-wise because I decided to change my weigh in day!
It had always been a Saturday but weekends are tricky for me. I see my fiance most then and have my teenage son around, not to mention the kind of relief one gets when Friday evening rolls around and you partake in ~~several~~ one drinkie pooh!
So, all the good work I've done all week is undone by serious bloating from the booze or whatever else it is and by Saturday morning I have a gain or maintain.
So... I tried changing to Friday morning weigh in; nope, that wasn't going to work either! So, now I'm on Monday weigh ins and so far it's much better! You might think that after a weekend of celebrating having a weekend, my weigh in might not be so good on Monday, but actually, it seems to work for me!
You see, I can undo all that bloating on Saturday because I go for a run (Saturdays are 'Long Run' days for me), so as well as getting rid of the bloating, i also get to earn LOADS of points - which sets me up nicely for Saturday night. That way i am not on a psychological downer because I've gone into my weekly points! Sunday I usually do some walking, thus earning a few more points. Come Monday morning, I am focused on my workout week and looking forward to doing my usual run on Monday morning. i weigh in before this though.
It's early days but I think Monday is gonna work for me!

I'm also planning on making more use of my smart phone to update here. I'm thinking of posting a weekly weigh in article - which will also have a summary of the week.

My running took a week off - due to a possible minor cartilage issue with one of my knees - the 'good one' worryingly. But I forced myself to rest and do no exercise - plenty of R.I.C.E and it seems (touch wood) not too bad. Had an awesome 4 mile run with loads of hills today and set a new PB for that route by a gorgeous 4 minutes!
I have purchased a new Runners Diary and I plan to log my Half Marathon training in it. Speaking of which - will start next Monday!

I have bought a rather expensive chunk of motivation - a new fridge freezer!
My previous model wouldn't keep things cool or frozen and was as noisy as anything - which is an important factor for me because I have to have the fridge freezer in the corner of the living room as my kitchen is too small for it!
The new model is only a tad bit wider but it's massively high - it's like Everest! I can't actually reach the the top shelf properly! haha
But it has an awesome vegetable/fruit section and a section below for meats and the doors are so deep, it can handle any bottle plonked in it!
It has LCD lighting inside and LCD control panel on the front. This thing is truly OUT OF THIS WORLD!
Now I can buy more fruit and veg and make extra quantities of meals to save and use the next day as lunch or something. I'm so thrilled! I am so thrilled too to have such a wonderful fiance who is helping me out on the finance front too!
I do feel more motivated now that I have my new fridge freezer and once this weeks shopping comes in, I'll have healthy snacks on hand.

I purchased the new Weight Watchers cookbook:

I ended up buying it off Ebay because for over a month now Weight Watchers have been 'out of stock'. I ended up paying double the WW price for it too and was left feeling a tad disappointed.
The recipes are wonderful but most of them call for a casserole pot that is BOTH flame proof and able to be used to a hob (I have Induction hob) AND oven proof. Obviously I have a lovely casserole pot - wouldn't have brought the book otherwise but my lovely casserole pot is ceramic and I'm not 100% sure I can or should use it on my Induction hob. Soooooo, I'm currently looking for a suitable pot that is pretty big (2ltr isn't going to cut it for me I'm afraid!). I have seen a nice 4.5L one in Tesco but it's something like £50+ !!!!
I guess some dishes I can use my stock pot that's induction safe but then transfer the food to the casserole pot as the stock pot isn't oven proof! That kinda defeats the whole object of 'One Pot Cooking' though doesn't it?!
Right, enough talk of cooking - it's time for me to vanish off to the kitchen to rustle up a One Pan Harissa chicken dinner - I'm meeting my friend Mr Baileys in the kitchen

I didn't buy the bottle myself, it was a gift and as I've opened it, I am slowly working my way through it - 50ml at a time. Why 50ml you ask? Well, it's 6 ProPoints for 50ml.
A lot of Points to waste on a drink?!
Well, I have 6 of my daily Points left for today AND I have 14 Activity Points left too. I am NOT going to devour those Activity Points though - I'm saving those for Friday night! But I am going to be spending those 6 dailies on my Baileys.
You see, at last I have a workable plan and I don't have to feel like I'm 'going without'.

Bottoms up!

Silverstone Half Marathon

2011-10-17T13:35:00.000+01:00

A decision has been made, I will be entering the Silverstone Half Marathon on March 11th 2012!

For those of you who are not familiar with Silverstone; it is a UK formula One race track. Well, they do other types of car racing such as Touring Cars too but I'm sure you get the idea.

I had several concerns about this course. Mostly being "Will I find a route like this boring?"

Although it doesn't look like you go over the same bit of track twice, it is an open, course without much in the way of houses, streets or anything else that might distract the runner from the pain they are going through. So I kinda wondered if I might find it boring. I have to admit that on my usual 5k route at home there is a stretch of road that is very flat and seems to go on forever; I can see the corner about half a mile away but that half mile goes on forever! Hence my concern with such an open track like this but then after reading the website for it, it does mention that music is blasted across the track and there are interviews and Full Marathon racing tips broadcast for all to hear. So, I guess there should be enough to distract me.

On the plus side, although there are quite a few entrants for it, the track is obviously wide and there shouldn't be too much hustling and bustling once you get past the initial start. There are regular water/drinks stations and at parts of the track there won't be too many spectators, so it'll be possible to just let go and let the pain show through for a while, out of the public eye. haha

I have been running weekly but it has tapered down to only a couple of sessions a week at present because of health issues; I have had terrible tooth problems - a root canal treatment that turned into a nightmare and required LOTS of painful treatment. It isn't over yet - I have to go back in 6 weeks for the dentist to check that it's worked and then I have to start the task of having the darn thing crowned! Ugh!

I have a problem in that when I have surgery, I don't stop bleeding all that well and so I couldn't exert myself for 3 days after each session of treatment for fear of starting bleeding again. Plus I felt quite sore and after the last lot of treatment I was light-headed and feeling poorly for 3 days afterwards.

It has made me angry that I've missed some of my running, I'm lucky that I don't seem to have lost fitness but I certainly haven't been able to progress like I had planned.

It's a good job I haven't officially started my half marathon training yet!

Talking of which, I am yet to decide which plan to follow. I thought I was made up about the 'My Asics' plan but I am just having a final look around at a couple more before I start anything for definite!

I am interested in John Stanton's training technique as I've heard he encourages a walk break after about 10 minutes, thus enabling you to run and walk. I have heard of people finishing with quite decent times doing this technique, so I want to look into it. Hence I have ordered a book from Amazon and eagerly await it's arrival!

In other news: My darn fridge freezer has died! Honestly, it has been nothing but trouble since 2 days after it's warranty ran out! Really, it's not big enough for my needs; I have so much fruit and veg crammed in there!

So, tonight, my gorgeous fiance and I are off to check out some fridge freezers.

Trouble is, I'd love to have an American style one but it won't fit in my bungalow! My current one is already sitting in the corner of the living room - right next to the kitchen area. My kitchen is so small, there isn't room for a fridge freezer in it!

Talking of my home, another off-topic boring piece of info: I'm having new windows and doors fitted this week! My housing association are updating their older stock and so we get upgrades and there is even a possibility that next year we get upgrades on our bathrooms and kitchens! that will be lovely!

Right, off to bash itunes in as it appears to have lost all my freakin songs on my ipod! Something that seems to happen a lot recently!

Update and New Buys

2011-10-05T14:54:00.000+01:00

First up; me being MIA was not necessarily ALL my own fault, I've been having issues getting into my Blogger account, grrr. I'm going to have to find a way around the issue, I toyed with the idea of moving my blog over to Wordpress but all my history is here within this blog and I can't possibly take everything with me. hehe. So, for now, I'm gonna stay here and just cope with the account issues.
Okay, you might notice from my Weigh In chart in the side bar that my weight has pretty much stayed around the same for the past month/3 weeks, but this week I'm hoping for a decent loss.
I think I've figured out what the issue is. I have been using my WW Weekly Allowance first, then using my Activity Points. This obviously wasn't working for me and as someone who runs a lot and does a lot of work out, I couldn't make it work. I was having moments of ravenous hunger and then it seemed that once my Weekly Allowance had gone, it was kind of like a mental kick in the teeth and I tried NOT to use my Activity Points - BIG mistake for someone who works out like I do! It's not possible nor do I believe healthy to stick to my 29 Points a day if I am working out as much as I am, and I think my weight hit plateau because my body went into starvation mode and was hanging onto the fat cells.
I have to say that since changing to using my Activity Points first, I feel a whole load better and generally more positive about my journey. I also eat better - more like an athlete; I fuel my body rather than give in to cravings and I have also changed what I eat, I hear frequently about Clif bars from YouTubers and I found them in my local running store, so I purchased some and they are a Godsend! Oh wow! They hit that post workout hunger pang and fill me up for hours, so no unhealthy ravenous snacking!
Here's what I've brought:

I use the first Clif Bar pre run/pre workout (I don't use them on days I don't workout - or when I'm doing a short easy run/workout. I use the Builders bar post workout/run if I'm feeling ravenous. I usually use them when I'm done at the gym as it takes me an hour to get home and I can't have my usual protein shake after working out, but if I'm at home and have finished a run then I always have a protein shake instead.
This seems to be a food routine that works for me. The results will be visible in 3 days! I've only been using the bars this week but I'm seriously impressed.
I have gone back to daily weighing (although only taking recording of the Saturday main weigh ins though). I hate decided NOT to do daily weight check but when i stopped doing that, that's when my weight plateaued again. Ugh! So, for now, I just need to check every day.

I have also brought some new running kit: I got a fluorescent/bright pink head band, fluorescent & reflective pink runners safety vest, a new hand held water bottle and these ....

Oh yeah! I finally got my Nike Lunarglide2's! My fiance actually brought these for me. Love him sooooo much! haha
My intention is to use these only in the gym and on the treadmill at the moment. I found my old retired New Balance Runners were giving me shin splints on the treadmill after only 10 minutes!
I don't want to use my current New Balance Runners in the gym because they're used outdoors, so we got these Nike babies for me to use. Plus, I hope once I've got to goal and the next time I am due to update my road runners I can actually have some light weight shoes, because as much as I love my New Balance, they sure are heavy! I understand that as a heavier runner I need more cushioning and stability etc - which comes at a price in terms of weight but now that I've lost so much and only have a bit more to lose and expect to hit goal by end of January 2012, I think I can finally start looking forward to light weight shoes for road running.
Well, I tried my Nike babies out on the treadmill and they are amazing! Perfect for me! I could run longer and easier! No shin or leg pains at all either. My only regret is that I didn't get a pink pair, but in JJB where I got them, they had slashed the prices down to £44.99 and they only ones in my size were men's and in the above exact colour. But that's okay. I don't normally agree with buying "Men's" shoes for women but I tried them and was happy with them. When I do upgrade my New Balance road runners I will of course be trying to get women's - or at least trying them and seeing how they feel. When I go for the big upgrade after goal weight, I shall be going to London to get my gait checked to make sure I get suitable shoes.

As for my running, it's going well. I am currently running a fraction over 10k in the woods/hills at the moment and loving it! I have started running in the woods recently and found it to be easier than road running! So strange - you'd think all those hills and unstable ground would make me slower?!
My form is improving and I am getting faster - I am by no means at a constant 10 minute mile pace on the roads but I'm not far off now. Running is much more enjoyable and easier and I also can run pretty much for the whole distance of whatever I do, walking is no longer something i HAVE to incorporate as a means to help me finish a run, now I walk if I feel I am stiffening up or the heat is too much and I want a little cool down. But I have to be careful, if I walk too slow I find it harder to get back into the running stride, so sometimes it feels easier just to keep on running!

My fiance and I both entered the ballot for the London 2012 Marathon and unfortunately neither of us got a place again!
However, the plan of action for me is to do a major Half Marathon in March, then a summer of local 10k races and some more half marathons in Autumn 2012 and enter both London and Brighton full Marathon for 2013. They are a couple of weeks apart but because of this, the Brighton one does let you withdraw free of charge if you get a place in the London Marathon. It's a good idea because lots of people train and get ready for London and apply but don't get in, so Brighton kind of take the overflow. I am tempted really just to enter Brighton as it's a race by the sea and I think it'd be awesome to inhale the sea as I run!

Anyways, sorry for the update delay and sorry this blog has kinda rambled on.
I am thinking of stopping making YouTube vlogs and just watching other people's and just logging my journey here in my blog. I think I am a better writer than I am a speaker!
But we'll see. These are things I shall think about for the rest of 2011 and impliment any changes at the end of this year.
I won't delete my YouTube account as I love to follow the few good friends I have on there and offer my support, but I might just stop doing videos myself.
Anyways......
xoxoxox

Motivational movie speech

2011-08-30T21:19:00.001+01:00

"When things got hard, you started looking for
something to blame. Like a Big Shadow. Let me tell you something you already
know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty
place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and
keep you there permanently if you let it...

No-one's gonna hit as hard as life. It isn’t about how hard you hit, it's about
how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much can you take and
keep moving forward? That's how winning is done.

If you know what you're worth, Go
out and Get What Your Worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And
not pointing fingers saying you aren’t where you wanna be because of him or her
or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that."

My favourite motivational speech from a movie; Rocky Balboa.

Not fast enough!

2011-08-08T16:30:00.001+01:00

OMG, okay, this proves that really I am a snail paced runner!
I brought a nice new book "Run Less Run Faster".
I'd read so many wonderful reviews and at last there seemed to be hope, a light at the end of the tunnel, a way in which I could at last be classed as average Joe amongst runners. I don't want to break world records, just to be able to keep up with the rest of the pack!
So here it is, the answer!
Or maybe NOT!
Whilst reading the reviews, I didn't see anyone mention anything about the fact that you have to be able to run 5k in 30 minutes as the slowest speed this book accommodates for!
I eagerly flicked through the chart that gave our current 5k times, so we could figure out what our shiny new training pace would be but the book does not cater for anyone slower than 5k in 30 minutes!
Damn it! I brought the book because I'm slow, I want to run faster, 5k in 30minutes IS faster to me.
Gutted that I'm officially so slow that I am beyond help! Not even this great book that promises to make people run faster can help me!
I flick through the pages and read runners comments about hoe they've gone from running a marathon in 4 hours, to running it in 3 hours 15 mins!
People, I would love to run a marathon in 4 hours! I wouldn't even mind 5 hours!
Back to the drawing board and Amazon to see if I can find a book for running snails!

Runners Trots!

2011-08-08T14:10:00.000+01:00

* WARNING - THIS POST CONTAINS SUBJECT MATTER THAT MIGHT BE OFFENSIVE TO THOSE OF A SENSITIVE NATURE *

Okay, this is a subject many runners are familiar with - Runner's Trots. Easily explained as cramping and a sudden urge to empty your bowel during running and isn't yet really understood 100% and causes might possibly be the fact that as you run, you jiggle your internals all around or it could be something to do with your core temperature rising or a hundred other causes, but whatever it's cause, it's something all runners live in fear of! Just go 'Google' the issue and you will see images of some poor guy suffering from the most extreme trotting incident whilst actually racing!

As someone who has suffered from IBS for many years I did worry about this problem presenting itself when I first started running.
Luckily I hadn't really experienced it, oh, I'd had a minor stomach cramp but no toilet issues that couldn't wait until I got home
However, the other day, history was about to be re-written!
As I started my run I felt fine! I was running a route I hadn't done for a few months and most of it was in built up areas and running right next to a main road.
It was a mere 4 mile loop and so not any great distance.
As I hit the 2 mile marker I was in trouble! No point turning round and going back, just had to keep on trucking. I had severe stomach cramps and the urge to be using a toilet for a 'Number Two' at some point soon in the foreseeable future.
The pain worsened and the urge increased. At 3 miles I contemplated knocking on a strangers door and asking to use their loo as I have a medical condition (IBS) but then the thought of the damage I could inflict to their toilet encouraged me to keep on trucking. i would have to make it home, I couldn't bear to stink out some strangers loo!
A further half mile down the road and i stopped. I considered sneaking into the hedgerow beside the road but I couldn't bring myself to do it! By now I was becoming quite distressed! You see, I don't like the idea of having to relieve oneself in the great outdoors, especially when it's something of this nature. I actually think it's quite disgusting that people 'take a dump' in the woods. I've heard many stories of runners doing so and I always told myself that it would NOT be something I would ever do - EVER!

I struggled on painfully until I got to the point where I could no longer run, then 20 metres down the road, I could no longer walk! All I could do was lean against a rail and cry! Which I did! I cried at the thought of having an accident and the realisation that the only way to prevent this would be to relieve myself in some field somewhere. i also cried because my options were now severely reduced because I had struggled on so much and now I was pretty much incapable of walking, so even getting TO the nearest field became a mountain so huge I didn't think I could make it. I weighed up my options: * Number One: I could stand here and hope that someone I know drives past and I get a lift home - hoping I can managed to contain myself in their car but that wasn't an option really as not only could I not bear the shame of not being able to restrain myself whilst in their car and also, the reality of someone I know coming past was pretty slim! Number Two (excuse the pun!): was to hope an ambulance came past and I could flag it down, burst into tears and writhe around in pain and know that these people have seen 'everything' before and hope they can rush me home but that really wasn't an option either as the chances of an ambulance coming past were as slim as me winning the lottery, so Option Three was all I had left - walk gingerly with buttocks clenched and in the manner of Kenneth Williams:

I guess I made it look worse by shuffling along as fast as I could with my buttocks clenched so hard! But I needed to get to a field - PRONTO!
Tears rolling down my face and a strange butt clenched walk, I must have looked a sight!
I found a spot and let nature take it's course. I didn't feel the stinging nettles as I squatted in the middle of a patch of them as they brushed against my bare arms, my face and more embarrassingly, my bare ass!
I was so traumatised that I was shaking afterwards!
I didn't have too far to walk home after this and as soon as I was home I spent another half hour in the bathroom! The pain was out of this world and I can only liken it to labour pains/contractions.
It took a couple of boxes of Imodium's but by evening things were quieter.
I have to say that it upset me so much that I actually considered giving up running!
I am as slow as a snail and now this - maybe I just wasn't meant to be a runner! I am the least natural runner I know, or maybe even that the whole of the running community across the globe has ever known!
I never wanted an incident like this and I am disgusted with myself but seriously, I had no other options!
I went for a run last week and although i started out fine, about three-quarters of the way around I felt a familiar cramping in my stomach. Luckily I got home okay and spent 20 minutes in the bathroom followed by another box of Imodium's!
Today I changed my usual running drink and took an Imodium pre run and today i was fine!
I can't guarantee I will be fine on my next run but this run I was okay!
I've had the same running drink for the past year so I can't see how that is the problem, also, I avoid dairy pre run - I avoid too much dairy anyway due to me being lactose intolerant AND it was a pre breakfast run - so nothing in my guts to upset me and I'm used to running first thing in the morning. Nothing was different so i don't know why it happened.
My only reasoning has to be that because I've lost weight and thus so much fat from the inside of my body, now my intestines are free to jiggle around inside of me and that's what's caused it...................... well, that's my excuse!

Race for Life 2011

2011-07-27T11:04:00.001+01:00

After my first race in 2009 and not having done one since, I thought I'd line up with the 'runners' group. I had previously been caught up by slower people in the wring groups, so thought that I'd go off with the front pack of runners.
Okay, four words sum this mistake up: 'Out of my depth'!
The starting horn sounded and we set off like a greyhound from race stalls! Holy crap! After a few metres we arrived at a steep but short hill, but it was enough to get my heart rate from 65% to 85% in less than a minute and I realised I could be facing trouble and more importantly embarrassment! I was with a group who obviously weren't planning on walking, no matter what! But after that fast start and the hill, my lungs were screaming for a break!
I didn't want to walk as I would have looked a right numpty being the only one out of the runners group to break into a walk first! But luckily at the 1k marker someone infront of me slowed to a walk, so I did the same and allowed my lungs a recovery period. I was passed by many in the short time I'd walked but soon I got into my run pace again and slowly, one by one the people who had over taken me earlier, I was passing now! Once my heart rate got up to 85% - 90%, I could maintain my pace, and so, on I trudged! The heat was stifling and therefore I was running in conditions I struggle with at training pace, let alone race pace!
During my 2nd lap I caught up with the walking group who were let off after me and were on their first lap. The course narrowed and I couldnt pass. I resigned to several walks during this section, but I pushed on through eventually and upper the pace to cross the line in 35.40! I was a bit annoyed as my PB for 5k was 35.14 and I could have thrashed that if I'd not have been slowed down by the walkers.
But as it turned out, I'd pushed myself too hard. I couldn't stop coughing once over the line and with having asthma, I was concerned. So, I went to the first aid unit and they checked my heart rate and breathing. They commented on how high my heart rate was, but I reassured them that during exercise I have a naturally high rate. Lungs sounded clear, do they just assumed I'd pushed my lungs too hard. I could taste blood too, so I assume I'd broken some blood vessels/capillaries with exerting myself so hard during the initial fast start and that uphill stretch.
It's taken 4 days but now um pretty much over that cough. I had a chiropractor session booked yesterday post race and so had a wonderful leg massage. He diagnosed a minor tear in one hamstring but other than that, my body had stood up to the demands and I'm immensely happy about that!
All in all, it was a lovely event and I raised money for cancer research.
But most if all ...... I simply loved the pink theme!

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Where have I been?!

2011-07-26T11:28:00.000+01:00

I have failed miserably with this blog recently, It's not that I have fallen off the weight loss wagon - far from it - I am still slogging on and I'm still running and working out at the gym. But my personal life has interfered with my blogging I'm afraid. I have been under major stress with issues with my son at the moment and it's kinda taken all my brain power to make it through every day.
I guess I was kind of just 'existing' and not really living. but my head is getting back to a better place and now I shall get back to my blogging and need to update my weigh-In's here and various other bits and bobs.
A couple of days ago I ran the Race for Life and will be posting about that shortly and also I have been having some issues with my high heart rate when running, which again, i will post about.
Sorry today's blog is a 'quickie' but I am off to the chiropractor shortly to get a few things ironed out after Sunday's race.
Promise to see you soon and so sorry for my failings.

Tonsilitis again!

2011-06-06T16:17:00.001+01:00

I figured out that I spend 8 out of 12 months with Tonsilitis every year.
I had tonsilitis over a week ago and it seemed to be clearing up but yesterday it came back and I am so totally drained. My throat hurts, my ears hurt, my glands hurt, I'm hot, then cold and I have no energy and to be honest, I just feel like going to my bed and crying!
I find that with tonsilitis I actually eat more points as I require lots of ice lollies/ice cream and other nice things to sooth my throat. I try to pick the lowest pointed ice lollies but its just the sheer amount I need to soothe my throat. I'm going to try and get an appointment with the doctor tomorrow. The way this week has started doesn't look promising for the gym, which has really annoyed me as I'd just started running on the treadmill and was really loving my 3 day gym sessions. I think I shall have another cry at the prospect of missing out on gym this week! Now there's something I thought I'd never hear myself say!
I am due to do a 'Race for Life' run on 24th July and my 5k time is far from great and now with tonsilitis taking its toll on every ounce of energy and fitness within me, I am starting to panic that if I am fit enough to compete, my time will suck! Hell, I don't even know if I'll be fit enough. I have people sponsoring me and I don't want to let them down.
Right, I'd better go and cook dinner for everyone now!
Fingers crossed I get a doctors appointment tomorrow!

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Happy Birthday to me!

2011-06-01T18:22:00.000+01:00

Yesterday marked another birthday. I am now the grand old age of 37!
It's quite an achievement actually as I consider myself privileged to still be here!
In my previous fat life I never could imagine myself being 40. For some reason I never thought I'd get to that age. It was just a deep down inside knowledge that I'd never get that far in life.
I guess, looking back now, I can see that the way I was going, I really wouldn't have seen 40!
My diet was appalling and my life was full of depression and despair.
But.... things are different now and I can imagine myself being 40 and fabulous! I WILL be at goal by then and I will be fitter at 40 than I was at 30!
So, in some ways I'm actually looking forward to turning 40! haha.
My fiance is buying me new running shoes for my 37th birthday. They're on order because the shop doesn't have them in stock.
I currently use New Balance 850's:

and for now, until I lose more weight, I shall stick to this brand and model. But I found out that 850's have now been replaced by the 940:

They are the same basically, just a new improved version.
I have to wait at least 2 weeks for them to come in though!
My fiance also brought me some new running Lycra shorts as my old ones keep falling down because I've lost weight! hehe.
Today I decided to spend some birthday money and go buy myself some new workout trousers/pants from Sports Direct shop as I have been thinking that even the size 16's I got recently feel a little baggy around the waist and bottom. I wasn't brave enough to buy a smaller size, so I just opted for size 16 again but in a different brand and with more Lycra.
I get them home, put them on and guess what, I really do need a size 14! HOLY MOLY - size 14 - is that for real?!
I know I'm never a size 14 in jeans, I struggle to get some size 16's up past my gigantic thighs but I guess, at least I am a size 14 in something!
*size UK 14 is equivalent to US size 12 (I think)*

First proper gym session

2011-06-01T17:56:00.000+01:00

Today marked a major landmark in my weight loss journey. It was the first time I used a gym properly!
I was feeling really self conscious but that soon passed.
I took to the treadmill initially and just settled on doing 30 minutes walking. I didn't think I'd start running yet until I'm used to the treadmill. I played around with the incline and speed and really enjoyed myself. I felt fine too. UNTIL I got off!

I suddenly felt unstable and my legs thought the ground was still moving! It was such a strange sensation! Luckily it didn't last for long - by the time I'd walked (carefully) to the Elliptical it had gone! I just felt like someone who was feeling a bit tipsy/drunk and trying not to make it obvious to onlookers that I was feeling unstable on my feet!
So, then I got on the Elliptical and set off on a 15 minute workout, which again wasn't too hard but again, once I got off the machine I felt seriously unstable
I have no idea what all this is about?!
It wore off quickly and I felt okay by the time I'd walked (carefully) to the weights.
I have checked all this out on Google and all I can seem to find is that it could be motion sickness/vertigo.
Yes, I do have vertigo and yes I do suffer from terrible motion sickness when in vehicles unless I'm driving but I really felt perfectly fine whilst using the machines.
I'm hoping that the more I use them, the better it will get as I get used to their movement.
I will be mentioning it to my doctor though just to be on the safe side.
I was in the gym for 1 hour 30 minutes today and I felt like I could have stayed there ALL day!
I was having such fun!
The upright exercise bike was also on my list of things to use today and I pretty much enjoyed it! I used some weight machines for my arms and legs too.
I'm off again tomorrow to the gym and will do 20 minutes walking on the treadmill, 10/15 minutes on the Elliptical, weight equipment for legs, arms and maybe use the ones for back/abs too. I might have a go at the rowing machine if I can figure out how to use it too.
I ended up with people using the treadmills, Ellipticals and cycle machines right next to me, but everyone seems pretty focused on what they're doing and not interested in what you look like or what speed/level you're working on.
I admit I had a couple of sideways glances at their displays but only so I could figure out what speed to aim for when running on the treadmill as I have no idea what speed I run at in Kilometres Per Hour so it wasn't that I was comparing what she was doing but simply trying to learn what a pace similar to mine is on the treadmill.
So, the plan for the rest of the week is gym tomorrow, 5k run Friday then gym again on Saturday.

Transformation to gym bunny begins here.....

2011-05-29T10:32:00.000+01:00

To say I was feeling nervous for my gym induction was an understatement! Just the thought of showing myself and trying to fit in with all the fit people scared me to death!
I doubted I could remember all the instructions on how to use the various equipment as my brain was fried with nerves and I just hoped that all the 'regulars' weren't going to be secretly watching the 'newbie' fall ass over tit as she tried to get to grips with the treadmill!
It didn't start well! I nearly didn't get my induction!
The instructor sat me on a gym ball to take my blood pressure. I had visions of falling off said gym ball!
Anyways, the instructor took 3 readings and told me my blood pressure is incredibly high - it was about 108 on the lower number! YIKES!
I had to convince him that I am fit and healthy and not going to drop dead if I so much as walked on a treadmill!
I managed to convince him to let me have a go and see how we got on. So.... off we trundle to the treadmill:

A big beast of a Life Fitness machine! It looked solid and scary!
Once on it the instructor started the beast up and it moved off surprisingly smoothly with no jolting or sudden energy input required from me to keep up with it.
I walked at a steady pace for a couple of minutes but even then it felt uncomfortable; my knees felt bent and like I was walking on tiptoes. The instructor increased the pace and reminded me to move forward up the belt a bit more, then to take one hand at a time off the front handles. Eeeek! Yeah, I managed okay, at times and then suddenly momentum would grab me and I'd find myself falling behind the movement of the belt and clinging onto the rail again. After a few minutes I felt more at home with it and could power walk without holding onto anything and the best bit was doing jump ups onto the sides using the side rails in case at any time I needed to 'rescue' myself and slow the machine down etc.

It went okay and I guess I didn't fall flat on my face.

It's just going to take a little getting used to at a steady pace initially.

Then we moved onto the Elliptical:

Now this is the part I was looking forward to! Strangely, it has been a dream of mine to use one. Sad, I know!

The instructor told me that a lot of people find them tricky but apparently I took to it like a duck to water and the instructor had to ask if I was sure I hadn't used one before! hehe

There was a young lad with the instructor who was on work experience and as the instructor cranked up the level I was working on he told the lad "Right, now you're going to see her heart rate suddenly shoot up!"

My heart rate was 111, then it shot (down!) to 108, then 105, then 101. At which point the instructor simply says "Okay, lets try another piece of equipment!"

hahaha.

Onto the Recumbent Bike we go.....

This was nice and easy to use and my coccyx felt comfortable on it. I liked the look of the programmes and can't wait to try them all out.
A hop and a skip over the the upright bike....

and my coccyx felt a little more ill at ease on this.

After a quick run through of the CV machines we then went off and he showed me the weight equipment. We seemed to go through it quite quickly and I know I'll never remember everything he told me but I'm sure it can't be that hard to pick it up. The machines have diagrams on them to show which muscles get worked and which points on the machine have to be adjusted to be in line.
There were several machines/equipment bits that he didn't have time to show me but I'm pretty sure I could figure it out (if the gym is quiet and no-one is looking!)
I did find the weight area a bit intimidating. There were some pretty butch guys down there hogging all the equipment.
But I think initially I have enough to be going on with and apparently, in September the leisure centre is getting an overhaul and the gym will be made twice the size it currently is, so there will be more equipment and by the time it's done I'll be more confident and hopefully toned and therefore will feel more confident about using things.
I had planned on using my fiance's car to drive to the gym 2 days over this bank holiday but mysteriously I have Tonsillitis (after inhaling swimming pool water down my nose!) and I feel pretty rough. So, I shall wait until Wednesday to use the gym for the first time.

Note to self: Remember to wear workout leggings and NOT Lycra shorts.
Was so pleased I had a last minute change of plan and wore my leggings/pants as most women in the gym were wearing them too.

Love my Life!

2011-05-23T14:11:00.000+01:00

As you guys can see in the space on the right on my blog, I had an amazing weight-loss at my last weigh in. I lost about 5.2 lbs! That is AWESOME!

However, I know that I shouldn't be losing that much each week and I am not planning on losing that much on purpose.

It seems that my new re-jigged daily menu is working! I am feeling satisfied and happy with what I'm eating. I'm aware that weekends are my difficult areas and this was shown in my mini weight check this morning as I'd put on 2lbs. But do ya know what, that's okay! I lost more than I was expecting this past week and I KNOW that during the week I can lose that again. I really do have to find a weekend menu to work for me. It's just tricky because seeing my fiance and my son being home change my usual daily plan. I kinda like to have a plan of what I'm doing, eating etc and stick to it every day and that is what worked last week.

Also...... I went to the gym on Saturday and now I'm a fully fledged member! YAY!

After the initial excitement has faded a tad I am now thinking "Oh crap! My muscles are gonna really hurt!"
This is really gonna hurt and my arms, legs etc are going to feel a mile longer after a workout! lol. Strangely I'm looking forward to the muscle ache thing though. ha ha
I have dreamed about joining the gym for years. However, I've always felt too fat to do it and now I'm in a thinner place I've finally got the courage, although I'm still nervous. But I'm telling myself that I'll have the last laugh when I'm slim and fit!
So, the gym membership I took out includes use of pool, gym, sauna, workout classes etc (the whole shebang) 7 days of the week 9am - 4pm. So it's great for my schedule, I can fit in my sessions exactly when I want.
The induction is included in my monthly fee and in 3 parts. My first part (Cardio) is this week, then I'm going to book my Weights induction the following week and maybe see about doing part 3 which includes an assessment for an individual plan.
I can't believe I've finally signed up for it. I just gotta sort out my weekly/daily routine so that I can fit it all in!
Yay! I'm so happy!

Looking forward to my weigh in

2011-05-18T16:39:00.000+01:00

As you know, I have hit the dreaded plateau and it has seen my weight barely move away from the same reading for the past 8 weeks!
I have tweaked a couple of things and I believe I've cracked it!
I weigh myself every day at the moment but I don't log it as official weigh in - that is Saturday, but at the moment I use my daily weigh-in's to see where abouts in my week I lose weight and where it gets stuck or goes back on. So far, I've been able to see that Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursdays are generally good days. I lose the weight initially at the beginning of the week, it stabilises over these 3 days but then creeps back on by Saturday's weigh in. I put my hand up and admit being guilty of eating a bit more later in the week but nothing over my weekly or activity points allowance. Okay, so maybe for a couple of weeks I went over but on the whole I've stuck to my points.
Well, I have now taken to NOT using my Activity Points, sure, if I get ravenously hungry where I think I might actually eat the sofa, I might use them, but this week, as part of my experiment, I haven't touched my Activity Points, I'm also looking at even having a few Weekly Allowance Points left too!
I have changed what I'm eating and how often I'm eating, basically my eating habits have had a complete overhaul!
And do you know what?!

I'm feeling good!
I'm not feeling ravenously hungry and I feel totally 100% in control!
I know we are on the 'Hump Day' of the week (Wednesday) and things for me have always proved harder the closer we get to the weekend, but I am going to stay positive and keep up my new plan.
It's tempting to think "Oh it's okay when I get to Saturday, I can stuff my face and relax a bit on it" but no, this new plan is for every single day, for the rest of my time, until I get to goal! So, I am not allowing myself to think that it's just a one week ride all the time.
It's a workable plan, other people do it and they lose weight.
Don't worry, when I talk of a 'new plan', it doesn't mean I've switched from Weight Watchers to anything else, it means that I am eating different things in my diet and I'm trying out the theory of having the same breakfast and lunch every day (most days). This may sound boring to some but I know of someone of YouTube who does this and sure, it's not for everyone, but it works for her and I think this is what I need. My weight otherwise fluctuates too much and my sugar levels go all over the place if I change what I eat every single day, my body just needs more consistency.
My sneaky peek on the scales tells me something pretty darn amazing (but I'm not going to publish it here until I've had my weigh in Saturday!), I just don't want to jinx myself and it doesn't count until weigh in day on Saturday anyway!

In another attempt to push through the plateau, I'm going to join the gym!
I know, it's something I've been considering for some time and to be honest, it's going to break my bank in the process but I will find that money somehow!
I will make it worth my while and will NOT waste my money on a membership that I don't use, so I am planning on a regular weekly schedule of twice a week and will try fitting in three times if I can! One of my visits will be swimming. The only way I can fit it in is to go 3 days in a row but if needs must and to be honest, there are folks out there who work out like 6 days a week at the gym so it's no big deal.
I will continue to run, twice a week, I think my body actually performs better when I run a day less than I have been. 3 days seems to over stress/tire it out and my performance drops and I can't improve my times.
I have so many pieces of gym equipment that I can't wait to try; I've never run on a treadmill, I've heard it's easier than road running but seriously, I think my osteoarthritic knee will approve! I've heard so much about elliptical machines and can't wait to see what all the fuss is about! However, I admit that I'm nervous about using weights, like someone is going to look at this tubby lass trying to lift measly baby weights and think that I don't belong there, amongst hot muscled and toned folk! lol
Anyways, cutting to the chase, I will be going to see the gym Saturday!
It's going to mean early morning starts as i don't have a car and the gym is about 9 miles away so i gotta get up early to catch the train every time i want to go (hence why it's not the gym membership that's just expensive!) but it's going to get me out of the house, away from food and occupy my mind so that I don't have any reason to comfort eat!
Right, gotta dash now guys as I'm making a WW recipe tonight: Beef Yakisoba! Ohhh, it's going to be gorgeous!

Cha cha cha changes....

2011-05-17T14:13:00.000+01:00

Sometimes I find myself overcome by deep philosophy, sometimes it passes and other times it makes me realise how far I've come and that despite the journey being slow and long, if I look back, I really can see how different things used to be and how much my life has improved!

Let's take a look back; if I go back, say...... 10 years to May 2001. I guess I weighed about 17 stone at the time. I was just about to experience the most painful heartbreaking moment of my life; in June 2001 my horse was to die, following a day of struggle by myself and my vet to keep him alive.

I was active in that I looked after my horse. My home life was and always was very stressful and things weren't good between my husband and myself. My horse was my escapism. I spent all day at the stable to be away from him.

I knew then that my weight was an issue and I was very aware of feeling uncomfortable with it. I had left school weighing 7 stone 7lb and wasn't always a big person but my weight gain happened during my marriage.

Anyway, lets zip along to May 2005 (6 years ago). I weighed 19 stone 10lbs. I was seriously depressed ALL the time, I drank too much and ate too much and dinners were always a take away eaten in haste whilst slouching around on the sofa watching TV. I had quit caring about my appearance, the chores and housework that built up. We literally lived in a house with an ever increasing mountain of laundry that never got done. The dust collected and the carpets were cultivating their own life forms! It pains me and embarrasses me to tell you all this, to admit how bad things had become.

I over ate for many reasons, to numb the pain of my marriage and the loneliness I felt. We were in debt and my agoraphobia and social phobia had got so bad I had to have all the curtains shut in the daytime and I didn't answer the phone unless I knew who was calling. I didn't answer the door and if that doorbell did ring, then I'd dash to the front window and sit there peeking out of the corner of the curtain so as to not be seen so I could see who it was.

Oh God, things were so bad and I just couldn't see it. Well, I mean, I knew things were bad but not that disgustingly bad! I was so stuck in a bleak place and i couldn't get out, I didn't know how.

I imagined the rest of my life being like this, getting fatter with each year and dying before I was 40 years old. I always had this strange premonition type thing that I was never going to live long enough to see 40!

However, I didn't know that things had to get even worse before they'd start to get better!

Just around the corner in September 2005 my husband ended our marriage, he set me free, gave me my life back!

Gave me my freedom but took away so much at the same time; I ended up having my latest horse put down; he had health issues that required medication and he was deteriorating and unfortunately no-one wanted to take him on, the local horse charity didn't want him either, so it broke my heart to make the decision to have him put to sleep. I discussed it with my vet long and hard and we both knew that within 12 months I would have to do this as his health would be worse by then and we didn't want him to suffer.

I couldn't keep him as I didn't have a job or money coming in. My husband kicked myself and my son from our home and i couldn't feed us, let alone an animal.

I had to walk away from my 4 loving cats who had been my sole friends through my marriage and with just a handful of clothes and possessions I left and stayed with my parents for a while until I got my own place.

Scooting along to November 2005 it was a foggy morning that I walked to the top of a local hill and looking out there was clear blue skies above me but below me was a thick bouncy blanket of fog embracing every house, tree and man. Occasionally a hot air balloon would peek out into my clear blue heaven but soon he vanished beneath the blanket to the cruel world below. It was then that I decided I wanted to take up hiking!

I wanted to climb a mountain, be somewhere high and away from all the pain and my past!

In the first 2 weeks of my marriage breaking up, I lost 2 stone, I literally did not eat and was sick all the time because of the stress and unhappiness and loss that burned inside of me.

But it helped get me started on a journey that I am still on!

I had always wanted to lose weight and be that thin girl again, the one before I got married

Yeah this photo really is me!

Losing that 2 stone kick started things, I told myself that I would never see that weight again! I knew nothing of how to lose weight properly and I just stumbled along blindly trying to lose weight on my own, too skint to pay for membership to Weight Watchers or anything and too lacking in confidence to go to a meeting anyway!

The marriage break up left me raw and i knew I would need time to heal..... baby steps!

I was no longer eating take out every night for dinner, I was lapping up my mom's home cooking though, which was traditional farmhouse style meals, so lots of shepherds pies and pastry etc! I guess it was an improvement on what I had been eating but it wasn't ideal!

In November I also injured my knee and bringing on Osteoarthritis in it!

It was agony and I could barely walk. I was told the only thing they could do was a knee replacement! I felt I had a chance to change my life, I had been a prisoner inside this ever growing shell for 11 years and I get my shot at creating something new, of being what I always wanted to be and now it seemed cruel that it would be taken away. Even worse was what one doctor told me; sitting there in his office, this doctor (who incidentally was larger than myself!) told me I was too young to have a knee replacement (regardless of how damaged it was and how much pain I was in) and he told me that even if i could have the operation, he wouldn't do it anyway, because ............... I was too fat!

I burst into tears and left that office feeling my life was over. The doctor wasn't tactful at all, he was rude, blunt and, oh, he was so many things I can't repeat here!

However, looking back, maybe that was what I needed! I needed someone to make me cry, to tell it to me straight!

After the initial comfort eating that followed when I got home I decided I was going to ruin my knee completely if they wouldn't fix it! So I set about dragging my large ass around the English hillsides training for a weekend away in 2006 when I wanted to climb some mountains in Wales!

I started using my dad's old exercise bike that was hidden away in the dust and debris at the back of the garage and inside that garage, with the door down, I pedalled frantically away for 20 minutes every day!

I started losing weight again!

By the time August 2006 came and my son and I travelled to Wales, I guess I weighed around 16.10lbs.

My knee was agony as we walked up that mountain on the hottest day of the year! I carried a massive backpack with 3 litres of water for both of us and I drank my share by the time I was halfway up!

My knee was unbearable and I sat down for breaks frequently and wondered if I could do this. I didn't have to walk up a bloody mountain anyway, I could just walk back down, no one at home needed to know I hadn't done it! But something niggled away inside of me. I'm a stubborn person and if I say I'm going to do something then i will do it! This was part of me that had been suppressed during my marriage but now it was ready to burst out of me

I picked my large bottom up off the red earth of the mountain and I climbed to that peak!

I stood up there feeling in awe of what I had achieved! I had done it! I could do anything I put my mind to. The world was my oyster!

It wasn't just about climbing a mountain, it was about so much more. Finding out what strength I had inside to face my fears and do it anyway. All I had to do was keep pushing, keep going and never give up and when I get to where I'm going it will be amazing and so so worth it!

New doors will open and opportunities and a new zest for life is waiting for me, if I just throw away my old self and put my mind to it!

After my great epiphany....

I had to get back down that mountain with no water and not long before the very last bus to take us back to the campsite would come along!

What followed was traumatic ..... to my son, as I swore quite a lot and went a funny shade of crimson as my knee gave way and was so painful (bone on bone usually is!) as we hurried fast as we could off the mountain!

By luck we got there with 5 minutes to spare!

Fast forward to 2008 and now my son and i were living in our own home and in November I managed to get one of my cat's back from my ex! The poor cat was in a terrible state of neglect, 2 of the others had been re homed. I still wasn't following particular diet and boy was I struggling! My weight loss had completely stalled, but I was happy because I hadn't put all my original weight back on.

I decided to take part in the Adidas Women's 5k Challenge in Hyde Park, London in 2009.

My knee still wasn't great, but it still hadn't broken completely, so i thought I wanted to try running, if it doesn't work then they'll just have to replace it then!

My training took forever, my knee playing up and leaving me unable to walk properly at times. The doctors told me cartilage can't regrow and that the bone ends in my knee and the back of my knee cap were so badly damaged.

So, despite medical advice not really endorsing what I was doing, i still went ahead and did it!

I bought a patella knee strap to improve the tracking of my knee cap and I iced my knee after EVERY run!

I finished the the run within my target time of 40 minutes. I think I was about 20 seconds under!

I can't say I like this picture much actually, I have that big old second belly thing there hanging around in my Lycra under my number and my arms look like tree trunks. My upper body looks so broad!

Although I lost a few inches here and there during my running training, I didn't lose any more weight, which was more frustration!

I was well and truly bitten by the running bug, despite my knee! But I wanted to run faster but couldn't! I pushed myself so hard I got heat exhaustion and I'd always be operating on 99% of my max heart rate but I just couldn't run any faster. Was that it - I could manage 14 minute miles and that was it?!

I entered again for 2010 but couldn't take part due to a back injury!

Annoyed and frustrated at how far I had come and how I so wanted to lose weight but couldn't I finally looked into Weight Watchers and joined them at the end of October 2010. I had lost a stone to get down to 15 stone 10lbs but I was struggling to stay there, so i got a months free trial of WW online and thought, if it works then it's worth finding the £10.95 per month!

We are now in May 2011, I have been on WW for 7 months and lost 3 stone! I would have liked to have lost more but I have hit the dreaded plateau for the past 1.5 months and my weight has wavered up and down, it's going down again now though (look out for the next weigh in!).

My life is so very different now: I eat my 5 a day (fruit and veg), I cook healthy home made meals most nights, I don't snack on junk, I walk a lot (mostly due to not having a car!), I run 3 times a week (my miles per minute are getting faster!), swim once a week, am about to join a gym and I have shrunk 5 dress sizes and lost near enough 6 stone.

My journey is not over, I still have further to go but if things wouldn't have changed in 2005 when they did, I am not sure I'd be here right now. I'd be a statistic. I tried to take my life several times in the past and if my previous lifestyle wouldn't have killed me, I might have done it myself.

So..... what have I learnt:

It's good to remember where you came from and how you got to where you are now but do not dwell on what you've lost and what could have been.

Just because one person didn't love you, doesn't mean that someone else won't.

Focus on what's ahead, plan your journey and follow the map. Keep looking forward!

Change is inevitable, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing.

I am still a work in progress with many things I still need to iron out but they say that every 6 years your cells completely renew/regrow/replace themselves, so by next year; 2012, when I aim to be at my goal, I will literally be a whole new me since 2005!

First time fit man flirt!

2011-05-12T16:05:00.000+01:00

Okay, so the title might not give it away but today something new happened. Something that I had pushed to the back of my mind and forgotten about when I became big and started the self-loathing thing!
Today, marked the first day of being flirted with by a proper, official ........ fit guy!
First off, I'd like to point out that I love my fiance dearly and would never have eyes for anyone else, but I have to explain that I am excited, not because it was rather a fit guy flirting with me and I was attracted to him, but rather that I am excited because 'A' fit guy flirted with me! Hello peeps, I have been stuck in loath-ville for the past 16 + years and no fit guys have made any serious flirting attempts at me during that time and I guess in the whole time I had spent being plus size I had completely forgotten about being proper flirted with by someone other than your mate's husband (it doesn't count because he doesn't really mean it and he's flirty with everyone! - Isn't that right Kirst? hehe).
Anyways, there I was, looking for a new top in the Sports shop and noticed one but it was way too high to reach and I'd need some member of staff to clamber up a ladder for me.
So, I started looking around for said staff and when I couldn't find one I went to the till and there he was, Mr Muscles. Member of staff and official fit gym guy!
He initially says he'll get someone to help but then suddenly changes his mind and decides to do it himself!
He gets said item of clothing down for me to try and I ask him to look for a slightly smaller size. He then tells me about fibres shrinking and that it'll fit just fine once it's been washed a few times. At which point I told him "But I'm shrinking too and in a month's time it won't fit!" He then starts chatting about how much weight I've lost and the dress sizes I've gone down and he says he would never have guessed I weighed 275lb before I started this weight-loss journey. Well, we just chatted away, him being really nice and all. hehe. Eventually I went to pay for my goods and my buddy tells me that she thought we knew each other as the guy was so chatty!
Hahaha, this is official, I have now been flirted with by a fit gym guy!
He had muscles to prove it you know!
I feel delighted, not because I fancied him or anything but sheer delight in the fact that some pretty hunky species of a man was flirting with me!
Now that has got me thinking and wondering that maybe I might experience some more of this 'flirting' stuff from fit men. especially if I start hanging out in sports stores and gyms!
Yep, I did sneak in there that I might start hanging out in gyms! I have toyed with the idea for so long and basically it is money and lack of transport to get there that has prevented me from joining/going to the gym.
But although my fiances aren't great, they are at least vaguely stable and if I want to be slim and fit then I need to workout more. I need to create more muscle to burn the fat and tone my wobbly bits.
I am not sure just yet when I shall join but maybe I might pop in there this weekend and check a few things out. I need to chat with someone about which membership is best for me etc oh and I need to get some shoes for the gym too and a workout top and pray that my too big leggings don't fall down!

Howdee folks!

2011-05-11T16:17:00.001+01:00

Sometimes in my day there are moments when it truly hits me how far I've come. There are also moments when I realise I still have a long way to go, but for now, let's just chat about the good moments.
Such times include being able to walk up flights of steps or up a hill that previously would have left me out of breath and sweating at just the thought of it!
Being able to get in toilet cubicles when out and about without squeezing myself in and nearly flattening the cubicle walls.
Something simple but embarrassing; not breaking my toilet seat! Oh yes, this happened frequently in my old life and I'm only mentioning this now so that the thin folks realise how something so simple as sitting on a toilet seat and wiping your ass can turn into a stressful event!
Without going in to gory detail here I will suffice to say that reaching certain parts of ones anatomy is difficult when you're big. You never notice this as the weight slowly creeps on but one day you realise how tricky it is and akin to trying to get yourself into a masterful Yoga pose!
Then you know you've hit rock bottom (excuse the pun!) When one day you are maneuvering to wipe and the whole seat comes apart! The screws/bolts sheer off and the seat is now unstable and one wrong move from you can bring Humpty falling down! Not funny mid-procedure, I can tell you!
Even though we re-attached the toilet seat, it was never the same, always keen to come apart at the slightest shuffle on my behalf as I struck the 'crouching tiger, hidden butt hole pose'. We ended up buying a new seat, but still it wasn't the same, it always shifted as I wriggled to reach. It actually left me feeling quite sad.
Then there's the bath! It was hard to fit in the bath when I was at my largest, oh, don't get me wrong, I fitted, but I just took up so much space that I touched both sides. Also, when my knee got worse and osteoarthritis took a real hold, I couldn't get out of the dang bath! It required me to try getting on all four/three paws (being mindful of my bad knee) and turning around like this in a bath that you touch the sides in is quite a feat! Anyways, from three/four paws, I'd have to stand up.
Oh goodness, what a performance!
Then there's seats in doctors surgeries and other such places. I'm lucky that my current doctors have bench seats but previously my old surgery had those plastic chairs (like school chairs) and I could get into them but if I stood up the chair would get stuck to my behind because I was just too wide.
Sitting on the tube train in the early days of my diet I'd feel terrible looking at my reflection. I noticed how other folks had a gap either side of their thighs from the side of the seat, but my thighs bulged out and were pressed in like giant inflatable airbags! I want so much to be one of those people who sit in chairs without their thighs touching the sides!
There were incidents of me trying to squeeze down between tight aisles of sports shoes for sale in SportsDirect and nearly bringing the displays crashing down as my body struggled to fit through the gap. I became like a square peg trying to wedge itself into a round hole! It actually made me feel very claustrophobic!
It wasn't until a couple of months ago that I went in there with my fiance and without thinking, I walked down the very same aisles, looking up and down for shoes. My fiance saw me and had a strange smile on his face. Then it hit me! There I was, not feeling claustrophobic and not touching the sides! I felt thin in this gap! My fiance even said I struck a thinner silhouette in the aisle!
I was so happy!
I have many more instances of times when being big has affect my life and I'm sure that many of you on this same journey will recognise and sympathise with the examples I've given.
I still have more weight to lose, but these days people notice what I've lost and It's so sweet when they pass a compliment my way.

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New Hair!

2011-04-30T22:49:00.001+01:00

I have been growing my hair for the past 16 years! I had 8 inches cut off in 2005 following the marriage break up and I can count on one hand how many times I've had it trimmed since then!
My hair was very long!
As lovely as the idea is of having long hair, it can actually be a major pain!
It'd get caught under my arms, sitting down, laying in bed if I wasn't trapping myself by laying on it, my fiance was!
I have been thinking for quite some time to have a major restyle!
So, here it is! It's a bob, cut just slightly longer than my shoulders. It's still just long enough to get into a pony tail for running and swimming and working out, yet I can wear it down and look feminine.
It won't take 2 days to dry naturally and I can style it in so many different ways.
I was nervous initially when I went to get it cut but afterwards I loved it! Just one look in the mirror told me it was exactly what I wanted!
I might even have it cut a little shorter when I go back in 8 weeks for my trim. Only another inch or so shorter at the back.
I'm so happy! At last I feel as if I'm truly transforming myself, and once I've lost this last 4.5 stone, my transformation will be complete and I will emerge a beautiful butterfly!

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Tough week!

2011-04-27T21:19:00.001+01:00

Wow, I guess I knew this week would be hard but I never thought it'd be this bad!
I'm finding myself yearning for Saturday (when my weekly points reset) so that I can put it all behind me and get back on track.
This week worked out tricky for several reasons; firstly, last Saturday was our village horse race (point to point). I resisted the burgers, chips etc but I missed lunch because I couldn't find a veggie burger so chose not to eat any other form of burger. Healthy food is lacking at the races!
Inevitably I wound up so hungry that when dinner time came I was ravenous and ended up into my weekly allowance, and there I stayed, chomping my way through a pub lunch, even though I made a healthy choice it didn't stop me drinking wine and that Snickers bar that kept shouting 'eat me, eat me!' from the bar! Grrr.
So I entered Monday low on weekly allowance, it didn't bode well. I was 29 points over until yesterday (Tuesday) and then the chocolate hit the fan!
My Aspergers teenager had a meltdown and ran away at night, not even stopping to put his shoes on! I tried to give chase but as he spotted me he ran down the lane. I tried to keep up but I couldn't run at that speed for long and the stabbing stitch and breathlessness kicked in. Damn it! I was so disgusted with my lack of fitness that I couldn't catch my son and as a result of my inability to run faster I ended up losing sight of him and having to ring the police and report him missing!
Eventually he was found, he went 3.5 miles in the dark, with no shoes to my parents home!
I was so relieved he was safe and well and coming home. Angry with myself that things had escalated, angry that I couldn't run fast enough to catch him and angry for lots of other reasons. So, today, although I started with good intentions, it went terribly pear-shaped! I intended to run for 28 mins but after walking 20 mins to warm up, I pressed my ipod Nike+ into action and was gutted to find ALL songs had vanished!
Don't get me wrong, I can run without music, but today, after what happened yesterday, u just needed my tunes! I decided to quit the run! This is the first time I've ever done that!
I turned round and decided to run back fast. Impromptu Fartleks! However, after 4 minutes I was a wheezing fat person again. I walked the rest of the way home, knowing I don't even have back up on the laptop for my tunes and doing a reset on itunes would wipe anything stored in itunes.
So I resorted to what I do in times of stress, I ate!
I ate too many mini pepperami's and then I downed a whole bottle of WW fruity white wine. Once done, I was intoxicated and happy in that moment. Well, when I say 'happy', I don't mean 'happy' as in all is good in my world, but rather that I wasn't angry or upset. I'd deal with the guilt of my actions when I was sober!
I spent all day trying to get songs downloaded, out of the 122 I had, I have got 13 through the initial stage. There are 4 stages to the music to ipod thing for me.
It's going to take a couple of weeks to complete the process.
I can't even remember what songs I had on it!
Maybe it was time for some new tunes!
The week isn't over yet, its the royal wedding Friday and I am attending the village celebrations. I will hope for veggie burger at the bbq!
Tomorrow I am swimming and I have done a lot of walking this week, if that's any consolation.
I just want this week over and done with and I will try to handle things better in the future and not resort to food.
Next week will be a busy one; I'm having my hair chopped off Saturday, having a complete restyle! Tuesday I have a chiropractor appointment, so I can't run for a couple of days after that, so I shall be lacking on the running front.
This is a learning curve for me, I know I am weak when stressed and recently I have been handling things and refusing to comfort eat but this last week has been most exceptional even by anyone's standards.
I just have to get a grip and handle how I deal with backstabbing within my family and feeling like no one respects me.
I will learn how to voice my feelings and assert myself. I am not a doormat anymore and I will not let people treat me as one.
I will not let these people hurt me and make me resort to food to cheer myself up.

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Weight Watchers Meeting

2011-04-22T21:06:00.001+01:00

For quite some time I have toyed with the idea of joining Weight Watchers meetings. It took me some months to actually make the leap!
Off trotted myself and my buddy to our nearest meeting. After an initial discussion with the leader, I explained that I only pay £10.95 per month and they wanted me to pay £5.99 per meeting, but then she explained it'd be cheaper to get a monthly pass for £12.99 a month plus I'd be an esource member, so I could still access all my online stuff! Great! I thought.
The weigh in was odd. Two queues of barely over weight folks lined up and disposed of bags, shoes, jackets and anything else which might make a slight difference to the scales reading!
After weigh in, the crowds dispersed and left a rather disappointing handful of people for the meeting.
I couldn't help but notice the 'before' photo of our leader on the notice board and felt slightly deflated when it read she'd lost 50lbs. I know, 50lbs is amazing and I have so much respect for anyone who loses weight no matter how big or small the amount. But the thing is, I've already lost about 80lbs and I still have another 56 lbs to go!
Anyway, the meeting left me feeling sad because I wanted very much to feel that I'd gain lots of helpful tips and would feel supported. But I didn't. I guess its a very individual thing meetings, all dependent on your leader and their skill in leadership.
Well, when looking through the information leaflet on the monthly pass I felt shocked when I discovered the £12.99 was an introductory offer for the first month only! I had asked twice if that was the monthly charge and she said yes!
The next morning I sent off my unused monthly pass to get a refund less £5 admin fee from Weight Watchers.
Don't get me wrong. I love the idea of the meetings but for me, this particular gathering didn't work.
I will be carrying on with my online membership.
I still love Weight Watchers and who knows, maybe one day when I hit my goal I will become a leader and run my own meetings in the village hall in my village.

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Legs!

2011-04-22T18:52:00.001+01:00

Okay, I just had to post this picture!
You see, I am not normally a skirt wearing kinda gal. It's something I'd like to do but I've never had the figure for it.
Today I spotted this nice little black above the knee skirt in a UK size 16 and just had to have it. A long skirt would make me look like a sack of spuds so I decided to be brave and get a skirt just above the knee.
I don't remember the last time I wore a size 16 skirt. I think the last time I wore a skirt, I was 16 years old and a size 8/10.
So nervously I tried it on when I got home. I bought it from a charity shop and amazingly it was brand new and just £4.00!
I was worried I wouldn't fit in it as I've only just gone from size 18 to a 16 in some clothing. I was incredibly shocked to find my new size 16 skirt was too big! Very big! Infact, I think in this particular brand, I needed a 14 or maybe even a 12! I know sizes vary according to manufacturer but this still made my day!
So, here's my ever decreasing legs. Be nice, they haven't seen freedom for many years.

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The Experiment continues....

2011-04-04T14:52:00.000+01:00

Well, so far, the daily weigh in experiment and adjustments in Point consumption have already made a difference!
My first daily weigh in on Day 1 (Sunday morning) showed a half pound loss! Then, second daily weigh in (Monday morning) showed a quarter pound loss.
Hmmmm, this intrigues me.
This weekend was going to be a bad one Points-wise as it was Mother's Day and we were going out for a family meal. I also admit that maybe I was feeling hungry but hadn't actually noticed it.
Needless to say, all my Weekly Allowance Points have gone - and I'm only day 3 into the new week! YIKES!
However, I have already racked up quite a few Activity Points so I will try not to panic.
It is hard to tell myself that I am allowed to eat those Activity Points, I've earned them!
Come weigh in day on Saturday and I hadn't realised this but I was feeling lethargic and it was only once I had pigged out all weekend that I realised this!
I think I have been trying too hard, I have not been allowing myself to eat my Activity Points and considering that I run 3 times a week, cycle, walk every day and from now on will be swimming once a week, I think I need to eat those Activity Points.
I am not knocking Weight Watchers plan at all, I still swear by it but when you don't go to weekly meetings, it is a little hard to get feedback on what you're doing wrong and get a little help when you hit those inevitable sticky spots when your weight doesn't seem to shift no matter what!
It's just trial and error and finding out what works for you and how your own body works.
I am still loosing weight (very slowly!) but I'd just like to hit a steady, consistent loss of 2lbs a week.

Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise for the mess my blog seems to be in lately: my sidebar has developed an issue in that it ignores my 'return' button and just jumbles up whatever I write and if I want to space it out correctly I have to go into html editor - shouldn't be so as it's just rich text - not html.
Plus my header won't centre.
I really am thinking of changing over to a different blog provider or getting a free webpage somewhere as it's driving me mad!
I don't seem to have many followers and if I admit, I am a little disappointed, but I can't figure out why no-one seems to be finding my blog, I have enabled all search engine settings but maybe I'm just not that interesting? lol

ONEDERLAND!!!!

2011-04-03T10:14:00.001+01:00

At last that elusive Onederland has welcomed me, albeit reluctantly! I had stuck to my points and exercised so much, I didn't even go into my Activity Points and my result was to barely scrape into Onederland by losing a meagre half pound!
Whilst I am happy to have hit a major mini goal in my journey, it is kind of bittersweet because I am going to struggle to move away from that border.
Fed up of losing less than a pound for the past 2 weeks, I have come up with a plan!
I normally weigh myself once a week but I need to do something drastic to find out what it is that makes my body tick and the pounds fall off. I need to find out if I should be eating more, or if my body needs me to stick exactly to the points, or if I should eat Activity Points. So, my experiment is consisting of this; weighing myself every day! It's something I swore I wouldn't do but now I have a real reason, a scientific one! I need to find how much food I should eat now that I am running more. I need to know how my body works.
I have to admit that the past 2 weeks have felt like I've been starving myself. Weight Watchers isn't supposed to feel like that, but maybe that's what's been happening and my body had gone into 'starvation mode' and is hanging on to fat cells!
I need to figure out what Points values I can dip in to.
I am still totally in love with WW and I would recommend it to anyone but as with all things, nothing is laid out in stone and you have to figure out what works for you. Some folks don't touch their Weekly Allowance Points, let alone Activity Points and that seems to work for them. So, I just gotta figure out what works for me.
So, every morning I am going to weigh but will still only take my official weigh-in day (Saturday) as my official weight reading.
So, yesterday I had 46 Points to eat (my daily points should be: 30) and guess what?! I lost half a pound in one day! Hmmmm!
Today is Mothers Day and we're going out for a meal, so I know I will be dipping into my Weekly Allowance again. Through the rest of the week I will dip into my Allowance but not by quite so much, unless if course I have been running and feel very peckish. But I shall not be throwing caution to the wind and using it as an excuse to stuff my face, I shall still make informed, careful choices.
So, let this experiment begin and see what it shows me about how my body works.
Yay to ........ ONEDERLAND!!!!

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Things going well!

2011-03-30T18:13:00.001+01:00

My lack of posting isn't a sign that things have gone pear-shaped (like my bottom) and I've quit. Oh no, quit I never will, I'm in this for the long haul!
My recent weigh-ins have been steady but sure. I am 200.5lbs! Only just a breath away from Onederland.
Onederland is proving to be an elusive mini goal. I am sure once I'm over (or under as the case would be) 200lbs then the weight will drop more easily. I have stuck to my points for the past two weeks yet the weight has been stubborn to drop.
I am in week 4, day 3 to be precise of the C25K plan and as I've previously noticed, my weight gets stubborn to shift when I am running, so maybe that's just all it is. I am not going to stop running, but I just wish this freakin weight would drop a lot quicker than it has been lately. Hehe.

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Kicking myself in the butt!

2011-03-18T11:45:00.000Z

Motivation and positive thinking have, I admit been rather lacking of late. But that's going to stop and I am going to carry on climbing up that ladder to my goal!
I have never given up but maybe my steps have got smaller.
Last week I gained, it was 2lb, not a vast amount but still, a gain! Okay, so I used to say "Don't sweat the small stuff" and I was willing to think that it was okay to slip up occasionally.
But NO! It's not really okay. Why was I telling myself it was okay? If I excuse every small slip up then lots of little slips equal a very big landslide!
I have not lost 70+ pound to get part way through my journey and not see the whole thing through!

This week I have tried so hard and stuck to my Points and I haven't even had a sneaky peek at the scales midweek, so tomorrow's weigh in is going to be completely unexpected and unknown until I get my fat feet on my fat scales!
I am positive, I am saying to myself I HAVE lost and I reckon I might be in a good chance of hitting Onederland (or at least 1 pound away from it!).
My YouTube vlogs lately have been a bit full of greyness, negativity and not very inspiring to watch but as of now I am injecting some kick a$$ into them.Summer is around the corner and I shall be going full throttle into my healthy living, getting out and about and living life to the max more.
I am going to get my miserable butt back into church more too. My Sunday visits have been far between lately but I am going to get back to my fortnightly Sunday visits and hopefully start attending the Wednesday Worship sessions too. Even if I have to sing a Capella!
I need to get my life more balanced. Things have been so out of kilter lately and although my mom isn't well, I just have to move on from stressing about it, it's not helping her if I'm stressing now is it?! So, I am just going to have to work out a new routine to my life and fit things in that way.
I'm going to get down to the allotment more (see my YouTube channel:http://www.youtube.com/user/BarefootJax for a vlog I did recently from my allotment and other vlogs, including today's grocery haul!).
So, tomorrow WILL be a good weigh in, next week i WILL stick to my Points (again!) and I WILL sort my life out!

Fighting that comfort eating demon

2011-03-10T13:57:00.000Z

Last week turned out to be one of those 'sticky' weeks. Things had got worse for my mom and she had been taken into hospital yet again, as a result my healthy eating plan struggled. I didn't really go over by that much on my daily points but when my weekly Points reset on Saturday following my weigh in I find (especially lately!) that I use ALL of my weekly allowance Points by Sunday evening and most of it goes on alcohol! I know exactly where I'm going wrong but the weekends are kind of like my relax and unwind time and I do use alcohol to help me do that. Don't think I'm an alcoholic or anything but I just have a couple of glasses of wine on a Saturday and Sunday, plus we have been eating out more because by the time I get back from the hospital it's late and i'm tired and in no mood to cook.
I know where all my faults are but at this unstable time in my life I am just all over the place and my own previously well planned out routines have gone out of the window.
However, considering all of this, I am still managing to lose. Last weigh in didn't show the massive effort I put in last week! It only showed a loss of a quarter of a pound, but it didn't show that I had gained 4 lbs by Wednesday and I had lost that 4 lb plus a quarter by my next weigh in on Saturday! So I am chuffed with myself for not giving up after my mid week sneaky peek on the scales said I had gained! It just goes to show that if that happens, don't just give up, thinking the week is ruined and you'll never have a loss to show for next weigh in! To be honest, I was only working on damage limitation and didn't want to put on anymore weight, I was expecting to stay stuck with my 4 lb gain but as long as I didn't gain any more than that then I guess I would be okay with that. So I was delighted that I had not only lost the 4 lb but also a tinsey little quarter of a pound too!
My mom is home now but we finally have a diagnosis for her; it's not great news. She has spinal cord stenosis (cervical vertebrae) and small blood vessel disease in the brain. I don't want to go into too much detail but I am sure you will understand if you Google these things. She is waiting for an 'Urgent' appointment with a specialist consultant and at the moment things are sort of being managed with pain relief, although it wears off quickly. It hurts me so much because my mother has become so much more frail and she gets confused and suffers from memory issues - which were actually noticed by myself at least 10 months ago and now can all be explained by the small blood vessel disease diagnosis she has been given.
I guess we are on a long journey now. Lots of hospital appointments and trying to find things that will improve her spinal condition and/or just make her more comfortable and appointments in regards to the blood vessel disease too.
I'm not sure things will ever be the same again now.
I sometimes find myself breaking down in tears, crying myself to sleep and taking both my mobile and house phone to bed with me still in case I get any calls to tell me she has deteriorated and gone into hospital again.
I visit my mom on most days and help her cook and do her hair and other things. I love my mom and would do anything for her and I wouldn't ever consider that what I do is a chore and that I don't want to do it but it's hard, hard to fit all the things in I need to do with my own family and home and hard to cope because my son has Aspergers and is 'trying' at the best of times. I feel there is no-one out there for me.
Sometimes I need help with things but I don't get it. My son wouldn't help and although my fiance is supportive, sometimes it feels like he doesn't really understand how hard it is for me and how I feel about things.
I am toying with the idea of going back on Prozac. I have been prescribed it before as I admit I do have depression tendencies. In a way it'd be good for my weight-loss though - I have discovered I lose about 6 lbs in the first two weeks of being on it! hehe. Every cloud has a silver lining.
But anyway, I don't mean to harp on here about all of my current problems etc.
I would just like to say to anyone who is a comfort eater that you are not alone and you can see what I go through and how tempted I am to comfort eat and I do struggle not to, BUT it is a cycle of things that can and HAS to be broken. It's not easy - no-one ever said losing weight was easy and it does take hard work and focus but it can be done. I want to show you that! This is why I tell you all about my life as well as my weight-loss. It is a complete journey, mind. body and soul.
One day, when I lose the whole 10 stone I might even write a book about it all. I know there are going to be hard times ahead, in many ways and I know I need to get a grip of my comfort eating sooner rather than later!
But now the cards are on the table I can start sorting out new routines for my life as it is at the moment and work as best as I can around things. Unfortunately this will probably mean that I will have to stop running for the time being. I have had two weeks off running now as I have a niggle in my bad knee but I just don't have the time to run now. Hopefully though, once the weather warms up (which I am hoping will be soon) I can cycle into the market town where my mom lives instead of taking the bus. So I will still be getting exercise. I also still have all my home workout DVDs to use. I am not sure how my weekly swim will work out as if I swim it means I won't be near my mobile phone, plus I have to use the train to get in and out of the big town and only one train an hour runs so I wouldn't be able to get back quickly. Going swimming is a whole day trip for me! If only I had a car again!

So close to Onederland!

2011-03-02T13:30:00.000Z

It is so tantalising! I was right down to 200.8lb and Onderland was within my reach but then it slipped away again! Teasing me to come chase it!
My mom's health issues continue and things do not get any better. She is waiting on appointments for tests but the NHS aren't in any rush.
In fact, my mom has gone downhill again a couple of days ago and I just tried to ring my parents to see how mom is but the doctor is there. It doesn't sound good! I have to wait for my dad to call me back! I am soooo worried about my mom.
I have been going there so often lately, to help cook their meals, wash and style my mom's hair and do other things for her. It's been so stressful lately.
On top of all that I have been having relationship issues with my fiance. Hopefully it's all sorted but it was incredibly stressful and so much so that I had another grey/white hair appear overnight! This happens to me when I am stressed; when my previous marriage ended and I had to have my horse put to sleep I had 2 white hairs appear on either side of my head at around my temples.
But anyway, it's all been testing; the old me would have slipped straight into stuffing her face with comfort food and then felt so much guilt and anger at herself. This time I fought that urge so hard! I have battled really hard to get this far and I know if I'd have downed crisps, chocolate, roast potatoes etc then I would have been even more angry at myself for being so stupid and ruining all my hard fought work so far, which then would have led me to comfort eat as I felt unhappy about comfort eating! You can see how comfort eating creates a vicious circle!
I admit I have struggled to stick within my ProPoints allowance daily and weekly and although I have gone over I haven't completely lost grip on it. So, although I am expecting a gain this week, I know it could have been worse and now I must focus on losing again, getting a grip and getting back on track!
I can't say the old me - 'The Quitter' is gone because sometimes I do ask myself why I am doing this. I know originally it was to be able to wear a nice wedding dress but since the relationship issues we have put the date on the back burner and are going to concentrate on selling his house and living together. The housing market is very slow over here!
The other day I was on the verge of quitting. Thinking this journey is too tough and it's hard enough at the best of times but when things get really tough in my world I can't cope and food was there for me. BUT . . . . whilst the thoughts of quitting ARE still there, I haven't quit! I don't think I'm losing as much weight as I should be (or at least at a rate I should be losing it!) and then I think to myself that it's pointless to be paying all that money for Weight Watchers when I can't stick to the plan.
The issues are with me, not Weight Watchers I hasten to add. Their plan works, it has so far. But when I deviate from the path then of course I am going to gain or not lose much, so I have myself to blame!
Also, I am finding out how my body works and responds to things and most annoyingly I have found a connection with weight-loss and running - or rather a lack of weight-loss when I'm in running training!
I have come to notice that losing weight is much harder when I run, it seems more stubborn to shift - even though I'm burning calories and not over-eating. I know muscle weighs more than fat etc but this isn't good! It's not like I'm running major distances, I'm only week 4 of C25K and my weigh is struggling!
I have pondered to quit running until I lose more weight and just stick with occasional swimming, cycling to town once a week in summer and home workout DVDs. But I love my running. It makes me feel happy.
I just don't know what to do about that problem.

Terrible times

2011-02-10T09:59:00.000Z

I know I'm always saying I will get back to my blogging and I really was intending to but 2 weeks ago life threw me a curve ball, the kinda curve ball that can challenge any comfort eater!
I was out for my morning walk, feeling really happy and doing a video recording for my You Tube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/BarefootJax?feature=mhum when my phone rang, it was my dad informing me that my mom had had a heart attack and been taken to hospital and he was going to come get me - now!
Needless to say I had to power walk all the way home and en-route I tired to phone my fiance to tell him the news but he could hardly understand me as I was a total blubbing wreck.
My mom has been blighted with health problems for many years and had become increasingly unwell for a few months.
For my dad to be upset I knew that it was serious!
Once at the hospital we were shown into the resuscitation room where mom was hooked up to machines but I have to say that the hospital were useless! No-one told us what was going on for 40 minutes until I cornered a member of staff and said we need to know!
Poor mom needed to pee but do you think the staff wanted to know?! Then she was in so much pain and her monitoring machine started beeping this alarm but do you think the staff batted an eyelid?! NO!
Eventually she got moved into a side room and her pain continued and so did the staffs ignorance! I ended up grabbing a nurse and telling her to give my mom pain relief. At which point she brought in some pills but I asked if they were ones my mom was allergic to - indeed they were and the nurse hadn't checked the sheet of allergies that my mom had with her. I had to tell the nurse what pain relief to give her!
8 hours after coming into hospital she finally got to see a cardiologist then 4 abandoned again for another 4 hours and then finally sent to the cardio ward for monitoring.
The hospital couldn't say what mom's problem was, they said it might be heart attack, might not, they didn't know.
Mom \was discharged the next day but the nurses wouldn't remove the cannula in her arm. The nurse told her they were too busy to do it. When my mom was leaving she asked a nurse to remove it as she was going. The nurse refused to, so mom said she'd have to get her husband to remove it if they couldn't and the stupid low life witch of a nurse just laughed at my poor mom and walked off!
Anyway, I removed the cannula for her in the end at home. I used to be a veterinary assistant on horse yards and am used to working with needles etc so it wasn't a big thing for me but still, the way my mom was treated was disgusting! The NHS truly sucks! I really mean that - the screwed up and put both my son and my life in danger when I gave birth to him and then still had major negligence issues 13 years later!
So yes, I am angry and sad and worried. So many emotions and so many excuses to comfort eat. I have been trying not to though. It is a test for me - one that I am determined to win and I will NOT resort to old habits!
So guys, apologies for yet another absence but things have been hectic with my mom and I have been going to her home most days to help care for her.
I still am doing that but am trying to balance things out a little.
We're all worried about leaving mom home alone in case she has another attack. My dad doesn't like to leave her alone so when he goes out I catch the bus to their home to sit with my mom.
Tomorrow I am going to the pub with my buddy for the first time in 3 weeks for our lunch. I shall be having some wine and I know it will push me over my points by 6 for the whole week but I need that wine!
I am going for a run now, so that will help me out with a few points.
My last weigh in was 14 stone 9 (and three quarter) lbs! (205.8lbs) It has been that for 2 weeks now. I'm happy not to have gained considering!
I have re-started my C25K plan, am just about to go out on W1D2 now!
My chiropractor is wonderful, he does everything he can to help me and I really feel a difference after our sessions. My pelvis seems to be in a constant state of instability but I need to work on strengthening my muscles but he suspects that I might have minor disc problems (L3). Yes, he said the concussion with running isn't good for it but I love my running and at the moment, it's what I need! My back was fine after my last run, so I'm just going to take it steady and slowly and listen to my body. I am not setting myself any goals at all this year in regards to running. I won't be entering any races. I just want to get to my goal weight and attain a running base fitness so that I could start training for my marathon next year when I apply and If I get in!
So, many apologies again. Hoping to get back on an even keel now and get my freaking life sorted!

Me bad!

2011-01-27T14:24:00.001Z

I know, it has been a while since my last blog, please forgive me?!
I had not intended to walk off and leave the place so empty but had found myself sidetracked over the festive season with many issues/things.
Firstly, I have been vlogging over on You Tube and have been enjoying myself over there, although it takes a bit of getting used to, you know, losing so much of your anonymity in a vlog!
But I went down with Tonsillitis over Christmas again (as i do every year - between November and March I get it about 4 times!) I also had my folks over for Christmas dinner and then there's my son, who continues to test me and drive me completely stressed out barmy!
I mentioned Tonsillitis above and the Christmas bout cleared up quite quickly but I have it again now and am on double dose antibiotics. It's proving a severe bout this time and it takes all my energy and leaves me beyond tired.
I guess I feel as if I'm sitting on the edge of a burnout at the moment. I am trying to stay focused and concentrate on my Weight Watchers and my exercise plans etc.I have still been following my WW plan. In fact, last week I hit an all time low (in a good ~~weigh~~ way), I reached the lightest I've been since having my son - a massive 15 . 5 years ago! I have gone up by a quarter of a pound this week (due to Tonsillitis and not being able to workout) but rest assured, I have tasted that lighter weight and I shall be back there - or else!

Prior to my recent bout of Tonsillitis I was swimming once a week and have some great new workout DVDs - more info on those to follow in another blog (will try and do it for next time!) and I had started to run again - which I enjoyed thoroughly!
My back was getting better then one evening as I sat in my sofa I felt my pelvis go again and since then I haven't been able to run, or sleep, or sit in my darn sofa for very long!
I am due to see my chiropractor next week!
In the meantime there is a good possibility that I shall be getting a new sofa and bed (the old ones really aren't good for my back!). I can honestly say that I've never sat on so many sofas or laid on so many beds in all my life! It seemed very wrong to go into a shop and just lay on beds! Especially with a sales person chatting to you - watching you wriggle into every position known to you that you sleep in. For me, those things are intimate and doing all that in public just seemed wrong - so very wrong! haha

Anyway's, I've put a linky thingy in down there on the right hand side of my blog for you to visit my You Tube channel and I even got thinking to myself that if when I get to my goal, I might write a book about the whole experience.

Weigh in is Saturday, so fingers crossed that I revisit my previously brief encounter with my new found low weight.
I shall blog about my new workout DVDs and aim to get you all back up to speed with things.

TTFN!
x

Planning my day

2010-12-09T22:32:00.001Z

Tomorrow is Friday and the day before my weigh in. I have a feeling that I have gained a pound this week.
Although on a positive note, I have stuck closer to my points on most days compared to the last 2 weeks.
I feel next week I should be able to hit my daily points allowance.
I am not going to beat myself up over the way things have been going over the past 2 weeks because I know that feeling low & depressed is a trigger to comfort eat for me and is one that leads into a vicious cycle.
So, instead, I am saying to myself that no-one said this weightloss lark would be easy. I knew the first 3 weeks would be the easiest and that I would hit a plateau/tough patch shortly after that initial weightloss.
I should congratulate myself on the fact that even though I went over my points, I didn't throw the towel in and get depressed about it and go and stuff my face some more! I accepted the fact that I went over my points, it wasn't good but its nit the end of the world. I come across lots of other folks out there in internet land who go through exactly the same thing.
I need to employ the 3 P's; Patience, Persistence and Positivety!
I am going to ramp things up in the new year but that doesn't mean I can sit on my laurels now until that moment! In the meantime I shall keep on trucking; aiming to get back into my daily points allowance, do exercise to get myself fit enough to run for when the chiropractor says I can and keeping my positive head on, knowing that one day next year I WILL be at my goal weight!

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A heavy weekend!

2010-12-06T18:10:00.001Z

I knew I would be going over my points on Saturday but I had set myself a damage limitation and decided not too overdo things and just go over a little and to make sure I did plenty of walking during the week so that I could end the week with a positive loss.
However, a friend kept buying me drinks and I ended up a bit more over my points than planned. Then today I had lunch and my gorgeous lovely fiance only went and turned up with a nice sushi! I couldn't turn him down! So, today I am over. I am off to the village pub quiz tonight and shall be just sticking to one glass of wine and then water from then on! I am about -17 points over on my weekly balance. So that means that tomorrow onwards I MUST stick to my daily points AND walk or use the stepper every single day!
Despite last week not being good, I still managed a 1lb loss, so I'm currently sat at 15 stone and three quarter of a pound. This week I need to get back in track and try harder to get under that magic 15 stone mark.
I don't know why I am stuck in a funk at the moment. I do know that I am at the lowest weight I've been at in over 10 years and I have never stuck with any diet as long as I have stuck with WW and seen a weekly loss.
I am hoping that maybe next week I might try going for a little run (C25K day 1) just to see how my back feels again.
That of course depends if we have any more snow here!

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Snuffles

2010-12-02T11:34:00.000Z

Big apologies for being absent for a while but I have been suffering from a real nasty cold. I blame my son completely as he came home from school with it and unfortunately for him, his turned into proper flu! Normally I get everything going and because I have pitted Tonsils (holes in my tonsils) any cold etc always turns into bad Tonsillitis for me and it lasts for 3 months and I have to have 2 or 3 courses of different antibiotics!
this time it hasn't turned into Tonsillitis and I have got just a cold. I am still sniffly but it is passing and I no longer feel like the walking dead!
As a result, I have been able to do a YouTube Vlog.
I am still losing weight at a steady rate and hopefully by Saturday I shall be down to 15 stone or under - which was my goal for end of November. I am on target! YAY!
I really don't understand how I have managed to lose weight because I have done bugger all exercise because of my back and my recent cold.
I'm a bit worried about how I will get through the festive period without gaining too much weight. I shall be so annoyed if I do gain too much weight because I have worked so long and hard to lose what I have!
From 21st Dec onwards it will be a massive struggle for me!
I am Pagan and celebrate Yule too - so that is another feast day for us. I shall just try to incorporate more veggies in the feast and less potatoes. Think I'll be going for a swede and orange mash, duck and partridge and parsnips, Brussels etc.
Strangely enough my weigh in day actually falls on Christmas day so it will be interesting to see exactly how much I put on (or hopefully don't!) over that Christmas week!
Booze I think will be a problem for me as I do like a 'tipple' and I know Points-wise it is horrendous.
I plan on having a go at making the Weight Watchers Eggnog recipe too. nom nom!
Right, best go and plan my festive season menus now!

Making progress!

2010-11-22T12:55:00.000Z

I was just so relieved when I gingerly climbed onto the scales on Saturday to find I had lost a GORGEOUS 3lb!
Relieved because I felt I had eaten so much during the week, I had stuck to my daily allowance but had also dipped into my weekly allowance (and eaten the whole damned thing!) AND I had even dipped several points into my Activity Points! Something I didn't want to do.
However, this weekend (like most weekends as I've noticed) are my weakest times and I feel my most hungriest and ate like a little piggy! I near enough used up all my weekly allowance in those 2 days.
So, now my safety net has gone and I will struggle for my allowances on Friday which is when I treat myself and go out to lunch with my mate.
I can tell it's not going to be a good week because I am coming down with a cold or something; I feel so lethargic and on Wednesday when I usually swim, I won't be able to as I have a physiotherapy appointment about my back at the same time and there is no way I can fit a swim in.
Maybe it is for the best that I don't swim if I am coming down with something anyway.
I have been using my new stepper and man did it kill my arms this morning when I used the elastic cords. I kinda did a motion similar to one that you would do with your arms if you were skiing and I also did a motion similar to that of the arm use on a stair climber machine.
Good news is that I have now got a laptop and it's so much easier and quicker to log on and check into Weight Watchers, bad news is that the battery holds bugger all charge so I will have to look out for a new battery at some point oh and it doesn't have a web cam, so that's something else I must get but in the meantime I will just have to use my son's netbook to do my YouTube Vlogs.

If I lose any weight this week I shall be so happy!

New toys!

2010-11-18T13:20:00.000Z

I have been exercising my credit card and bought some things to help me on my weight loss journey:

First up I bought 3 dvds, as you can see, there is a Pilates one, Yogalates and a 10 minute solution one for target toning and blast off belly fat!

Seeing as I can't run at the minute because of my back and the fact I NEED to tone up the muscles in my back, hips, thighs etc, I bought all these things as they had been recommended to me.

Oh and then whilst waddling around Waterstones store I spotted this Shape Up Size Down book! I bought it because it has quite a few of the exercises my chiropractor has given me to do and many more besides...

Here's some of the exercises from the book.

Meet my new best friends! These little beauties are 3 ProPoints (I know the packaging says 1.5 but that's the old Points plan!).

This photo shows what I took with me yesterday when I went swimming so that I could plan any food I ate.
I managed to have a great Points day and stuck to my allowance. I had a lovely Subway Club and a diet coke after my swim and lunch time I bought some Boots Shapers sarnies and grapes.

This rather sexy pink contraption ~~of torture~~ is my brand new V-Fit Lateral Stepper.
OMG - isn't it such a lovely colour - I have a major thing about pink! hehe

Now, there are good points and bad points about this machine; firstly, the little computer that shows you how many steps, calories burnt, time elapsed etc etc doesn't actually work! Gutted am I but I am NOT going to trudge back to the shop with this very heavy item for a refund. I don't have a car and I have already upset my back trying to get it home yesterday! Upon reading reviews for this item it does seem that almost every single person who has bought it has had exactly the same problem. So, at this point you either get grumpy and angry or you just get on with it! I chose the latter because to be honest, the computer does not affect how the machine works and if I need to see how long I've been 'stepping' for then I look at my clock. I wouldn't trust calorie burn on machines anyway.

The good points are that you can adjust the height/resistance of the stepper plates and it is 100% stable for me on my carpet. Also, I love the elastic resistant type tubes (with handles!) that attach to the front so that you can use them to tone your upper body and arms. If you get the motion right - you can almost imagine yourself on an elliptical machine! LOL

All in all I am pleased with my purchases.

Not pleased that I buggered my back up getting them home though!

My swim wasn't great! It was my first swim since my back injury (in August!) and after my chiropractor told me not to do too much breast stroke I went swimming to try and focus on my front crawl -but man, that's hard to keep doing that up and down every single time! So yes, I might have done an occasional breast stroke but I was careful not to use my legs - only my arms so that I didn't put my pelvis back out of alignment again.

I also did a side stroke - the one you do if you rescue someone and I discovered something very interesting! I usually do it on my left side but this time I thought I'd work my body out evenly - no more one-sided-ness! But you should have seen me trying to do it on my left side! I am surprised the lifeguard didn't jump in to try and rescue me! LOL

I know what the problem is - it was very apparent that it was due to the lack of tone in my troublesome abductor/hip muscle. I just couldn't get my legs to move how they should! Anyway, I persevered with it and afterwards started to make progress but I could really feel like I had had a proper workout on that muscle! So, I guess that is kind of excellent news - I just have to work it out more!

I am hoping to go swimming twice a week but I'm not sure I can afford it, I will see!

I have finally figured out YouTube and have got my own channel and started doing Vlogs, you can find me here at: http://www.youtube.com/user/BarefootJax?feature=mhum

Let me know if this link doesn't work.

No more running for a while

2010-11-16T20:51:00.001Z

I went to the NHS pain clinic today and after a rather brutal (so I thought!) examination the doctor said that I have a herniated disc! I limped off straight to my chiropractor who disagreed with the diagnosis. He has a point though; he said that a herniated disc wouldn't show improvement like mine has, as mine has improved and goes through stages of getting bad when I do something specific. He said a herniated disc would be consistently bad.
Anyway, the back doctor is sending me for physiotherapy, which could take 6 months to get an appointment (obviously he doesn't think his diagnosis of a herniated disc requires more prompt attention!)
In the meantime, I am going to carry on seeing my chiropractor. I know he makes a difference.
I ran yesterday and it went so well at the time but today I had a but of pain in my back. My chiropractor said to hold off of the running for now and to instead concentrate on swimming and the rehab exercises he has designed for me. I can carry on walking too, but need to increase it a little at a time.
The back doctor was impressed by how hypermobile my joints are. He reckons a lot of my problem is that I am hypermobile and my back muscles are weak and therefore not holding my spine stable.
Gee, so much to take in eh?!
So, back to the drawing board in terms of exercise. I will have to come up with a new routine.
Okay, rant over! LOL

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Baby Steps

2010-11-15T10:17:00.000Z

Yup yup yup! I am one happy bunny!
Gone is the downer I was on since yesterday as I have just done my first C25K run.
It was awesome! I was pleasantly surprised that I found it sooo easy! I thought that as I haven't run for 4 months I would be completely back to square one and struggling to run for one minute but dare I say it, the minute run passed too quickly each time. No sooner had I started to enjoy it than I had to stop and walk for 90 seconds!
I did however use the session to put into action the advice the chiropractor gave me and I tried so hard to engage my butt muscles. I think I managed that part okay. Running felt easier and my back wasn't aching. I did notice a little niggle in my left thigh muscle - which I shall report back to my chiropractor but all in all I was well chuffed and can't wait to run again AND go swimming on Wednesday. I think I found my mojo - funny that I found it on the road during my run!

ProPoints failure!

2010-11-15T08:20:00.001Z

I spent my first week last week on ProPoints, sticking rigidly to my daily allowance and not even dipping into my Activity Points and I get on the scales on Saturday and what do they tell me? Three Quarters of a pound gain - a GAIN! OMG! Why?! What did I do wrong?!

Things were going so well! For the rest of the day I took it in my stride, I didn't beat myself up about it, I thought now I'm on a new week, I'll try harder and I won't gain for my next weigh in - just sweep it all under the carpet - these things happen right; maybe it's water retention or something?
But by Sunday my urge to comfort eat and wallow in self pity, anger and frustration were knocking on my door!
I went to my church's remembrance service and afterwards I went to the pub for a salmon sarnie and wine - all planned within my allowance but suddenly the frustration and anger bit back and I found myself stuffing not one but TWO Snickers bars down my gullet followed by a pack (25g) of salted peanuts AND a bag of Hula Hoops!
WHOA! Where did that come from?!
Well, I guess it wasn't a complete disaster as I still have 12 out of my 49 weekly allowance points left (just have to eat less and not treat myself like I normally do on a Friday and Sunday) but the good thing was that although at the time (lunchtime) I didn't feel full and I could have eaten more (I didn't okay! lol) but by dinner time the full feeling had hit me and I couldn't eat my Sunday roast - so I swapped it for a couple of Turkey sarnies - which were a whole lot less points, so I kinda feel okay about that.
I am disappointed with myself and to be honest - disappointed that ProPoints let me down in my first week of trying them!
Then a strange thing happened; there I was - online and logging what I ate and I noticed that the ProPoint values of some foods had changed. Everything had already been updated to ProPoints values and I had taken it all into consideration but now it was telling me that the values they originally put on were different and in some cases I was something like 6 points out on a meal. I can't understand? All I can assume is that WW made an error when originally updating some foods to ProPoints values. Maybe this was to blame for my no weight-loss in the first week?
Well, I am done stuffing my face with Snickers and done with feeling sorry for myself. I am ready to bite back and lose some weight this week.
Started today I am starting on the C25K plan again (after 4 months off running due to back injury) and I'm starting at the very beginning again! Wednesday I shall be swimming too. So I have exercise planned for every day of the week this week and hopefully it'll help get my mind back into exercise mode because only the Lord knows that my motivation for exercise has wained since being off with my injury!
Just can't believe I gained though - Ugh!!!!!

Butt Busting!

2010-11-11T10:25:00.000Z

I have just completed a half hour session of butt busting! Basically all I did was exercises the chiropractor showed me to help my Gluteus Medius (think that's the correct name for it!) and a few other problem areas I have and then I did some similar exercises I found on You Tube. Oh my - does my butt ache or what?! lol

Here's the equipment I used today; my gym ball, foam roller, stretchy band, one 2.5kg dumbbell and a 2.5kg weighted ball and my step.

Okay - it has taken me a lot of courage to post the above picture. I am very self conscious and I know I am a lard a$$ but in my defense - I was 4 clothes sizes bigger at my heaviest AND I am doing something about the rest of my flubber. One day I will proudly post a picture of a slim me! As you can see, even though I have big arms I do carry most of my weight on my bottom half and to be honest - my thighs disgust me and I know they're going to be the hardest area of all for me to lose the weight from - hence why I have now started doing lots of butt busting exercises!
I really hope Weight Watchers works for me, I NEED to lose all this extra baggage and I dream of wearing a size 10 (max) wedding dress in 2012.
Right, I'm going to stop looking at how disgusting I look in the above picture and just post the darn thing! lol

WW Orders

2010-11-10T11:17:00.000Z

I wouldn't go as far as saying i'm used to the new ProPoints system but I get it - I understand the whole way it works and I would happily use it easily if only my Smart phone would work harmoniously with all the pop ups the website now has as the menu tracker is displayed via a pop up.
I've had to go to the extreme of getting a laptop - just so I can keep on track of my points. Yes, losing weight really does mean that much to me and I am incredibly serious about seeing it through.
The trouble is that my old computer is OLD - I mean - prehistoric! It takes an hour to log on after it's had a spazz saying there is a 'Checksum Battery Failed' error and a whole host of other issues it has so I can't simply log on to update my points anytime I want, so I am in the process of getting a new laptop.
In the meantime I have been browsing the WW web shop and have gone ahead and made a few purchases. I've heard that lots of other members have bought the same things so I figured if the more long term members have deemed it worth-while then it must surely help!
First up is:

The new Deluxe Essentials Pack

Sorry the picture isn't clear but I will post more piccies once mine arrives. The WW website says this about the pack:

"NEW Deluxe Essentials Pack

Price - £22.95
The Deluxe Essentials pack contains everything you need to get the best possible start on your weight loss.
This ultimate pack for the new ProPoints plan contains:
Track
Eat Out
Shop
ProPointsCalculator
Tape Measure
Highlighter Pen
Plus Vouchers worth £13.50 inside"

I am looking forward to having the books included: Track, Eat Out and Shop so that I can quickly figure points values without having the start up my computer. Also looking forward to spending the vouchers too! hehe
My second purchase is:

Menu Planner

£3.95
A 12 week, one week to view, menu planner with tear off shopping list. The planner has magnets and a hook so it can be stuck to a fridge or hang on a wall. It also comes with a mechanical pencil that has an eraser.

My third purchase:

Clicker

£2.95
This handy key ring makes tracking daily allowances easy and accurate, even on the busiest of days. Available in blue or purple.

So there ya have it - the last of the big spenders!
WW told me that the goods will be with me within 7 - 10 days! I cant ~~weight~~ wait!

WI #2

2010-11-08T22:38:00.001Z

Weighed myself Saturday and I can proudly report a 3lb loss! Hurrah!
Shall aim to log on with my dinosaur desktop & update my side bar.

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New ProPoints Plan

2010-11-08T22:36:00.001Z

Okay, I don't mind the new plan one bit but really, they should have sorted out the online functions!
I can no longer use my smartphone to get onto the tracker because it is an annoying pop up flash type thing & that doesn't seem to like touch screen phones!
So I kinda feel abandoned at sea. I like to check my points regularly so that if I feel peckish I can do something about it.
My desktop computer is such a dinosaur that it takes an hour to log on (I really am not joking!) So, just for WW I've had to get myself a laptop & hope I can quickly log on whenever I want throughout the day if I'm at home because obviously its never going to fit in my bag! Hehe.
The new points allowance seems a lot! I can't see how I'm going to lose weight if I have to eat all of my 33 points a day, and then I have 49 points per week to treat myself with!
Watch this space as I struggle to get to grips with this!

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Snicker temptation!

2010-11-04T11:13:00.000Z

Last night I went to the pub with my Fiance as I had enough points left to treat myself with a couple of glasses of wine.
I didn't cave in at the snacks on the bar; like the peanuts and crisps in little dishes and as we sat down at our table I resisted the pull of Hula Hoops:

Despite my Fiance sitting right next to me and scoffing them whilst waving the packet under my nose saying surely I could have half a bag! But NO! I didn't cave in and I told him to scoff them all as quickly as possible so that I didn't have to smell or see them any more! lol
As I sat there trying to overcome my cravings my old favourite slapped me in the face again:

Did I cave in?...............................

NO I did NOT!

I have been craving a Snickers bar ever since I started WW. But at 7 points a bar I simply can't afford to do that at the minute until I get myself some extra points stockpiled up!

I am feeling very positive after my trip to the pub, I went in and only had what I came for - my 2 glasses of wine as that's all my points allowance would let me have.

YIPPEE!

Little helper

2010-11-03T16:01:00.001Z

I couldn't resist posting this photo of my cat helping (hindering) me as I try to plan next weeks menu plans! Bless him!

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Positive Plans

2010-11-03T10:16:00.000Z

I have recently stumbled upon an awesome blog from a gorgeous lady called Lisa. I love reading her progress and although she's lighter than I am she started out in the 200lbs mark and that's where I am now so her blog gives me hope and she seems to go through the same sticky patches as I do - mostly where you lose weight, feel positive and then your weight gets stuck and it's usually at that point that I cave in but I can see Lisa going through it and she struggles on and doesn't quit (Lisa, you're no quitter honey!) and it inspires me to keep going because I can see through her weight log that she does get stuck but eventually she gets over that little hill.
So i raise a glass to you Lisa, keep up the good work hun, I am following you and you inspire me to keep on going with my battle!
Please do pop over and check out her blog - link at the top!
In the meantime (and I hope Lisa doesn't mind?!) I am going to steal a few of her ideas and update parts of my blog. In an effort to make myself more accountable I shall log my weekly weigh in in the side bar AND I shall start writing down my monthly goals over in the side too.

There has been much talk about Weight Watchers in the news over here as they are changing things around to a new plan on the 7th November! From what I've heard it's going to be the PROPOINTS plan. Similar to the POINTS system we already use but it's updated due to modern science shining a light into how our bodies use and store calories, fat etc. Some people aren't too chuffed about it but I am not too fussed, I am sure it'll be easy enough to pick up, I'm just hoping that the WW magazine, food packaging in the superstores and the online points tracker are updated to show the new points values and not the old ones.

So far my diet this week has been on track. I have been exercising too and am feeling positive about things.
I am impressed that I can eat this much:

This is my lunch on some days and it's just basically lots of salad (ZERO POINTS value!) and turkey slices torn up into it and a Light Choices Honey and Mustard dressing which is worth a tiny half a point for 2 Tablespoons!
I actually struggle to finish it and feel totally full afterwards, but it's great because it keeps me going until dinner time.
I have located that my main hunger period seems to be mid morning so I am currently trying out different breakfasts to find one that really does fill me up long enough until lunchtime or that only necessitates a WW snack bar at 1.5 POINT value.
So far I have found that a medium (30g) serving of cereal (Rice Krispies) does NOT fill me up and by 10am I am hungry!

As well as improving myself by dieting and exercise I believe this journey comes as a package and i should not neglect other areas - I want to improve the WHOLE me - not just pick and choose which parts I want to work on. So....... I have started a skin care regime. I guess I was startled into it by discovering the lines on my face around the outside of my eyes are more noticeable, so I have invested in:

Garnier eye roll on and face cream.
As a horsey person I spent pretty much all my life outside in all weathers and I wish I'd have used cream at a younger age to help prevent the signs of aging. Oh, I know we can't fight it really but we can actually help to slow it down a tad and improve the texture and complexion of our skin.
I have yet to organize myself into some form of regular meditation (other than sleeping! lol).
I guess in summer it was easier an I often just laid outside and relaxed, taking in the sounds of the birds and nature.
I do suffer from S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and winter is always when I feel at my lowest so i MUST make more effort to take better care of myself and start putting myself first - something I don't usually do! I guess folks better get used to the sound of me saying 'NO' because it's rare I turn someone down but I have to start putting me first!

Despite sticking to my POINTS his week I just feel that I am struggling to lose weight this week. I hope not because it so kicks my motivation right down.

My Chiropractor is pleased with my progress and he gave me a compliment saying I am very in tune with my body and I can pinpoint exactly which muscles and ligaments the pain comes from. He says most folks can't pinpoint the exact problem. But he told me off for pushing myself too much.
He says that my ligaments are damaged and have stretched, so are weak and that means that my body is in a fragile state; that my pelvis could easily pop out of alignment; which it did a couple of days ago - I was bent over doing something and sneezed! that's all it took and out popped my pelvis!
I have some new exercises to do from my Chiro and have his permission to start running (from the very beginning!) this weekend!
I am not going to see my Chiro next week - to see how my body gets on with the new exercise routine.
I also had electro acupuncture on my Osteoarthritic knee and man - it was awesome! My knee feels so bloody good. I had acupuncture when I was 18 and it didn't work - in fact, it was painful! But this time it was great! I didn't feel the needles go in at all and once the electro current started, it was like a deep muscle version of my TENS machine! Yum yum!
I have also decided that during my homework, what I'm going to do is simply turn on my radio and just dance! It's activity right and it makes me feel happy and good. lol. I can't be doing too much work with weights and things until my ligaments in my back strengthen up but I can dance and move around!
I went for my morning walk at 7am today and was trying to locate the muscles I'm supposed to be using in my butt - but it wasn't that easy! I think I managed to find it after half a mile though! But everything ached afterwards. It's like learning to walk all over again! You see, what I've apparently been doing is using my lower back muscles and calves to propel myself along - whether it's running or walking and what's happened in that your lower back muscles are smaller and whilst they can do it they soon tire - hence why I get lower back ache when running! That's why I get shin splints too - because I'm using the wrong lower leg muscle and it's the front of the shin that's taking all the strain. It's good to know because now I have exercises to change all that and maybe once I am fitter then I can run faster!
I have to accept though that my body is in a bit of a mess really and I've been using the wrong muscles for too many years, plus I have back/pelvis ligament damage now which needs to heal and strengthen, so I have decided I shall tone down my running and stick with running no more than 4 and a half miles until I have lost a decent amount of weight otherwise it's too much stress on muscles and ligaments that need time to get stronger. I have to accept that being as big as I am I can't be trying to set Personal Best's all the time. I have to learn to run just... because I can! Just to enjoy the run for what it is an not stress about times.

Okay, so with that I shall go and tweak my side bar now!
TTFN!

Piccies of me!

2010-11-03T09:13:00.000Z

Okay, I have bitten the bullet and decided to put some pictures of me on here again. I guess I go through phases of feeling more self-conscious and then when I'm feeling more confident I take a picture, look at it and see I am still fat! It's funny because the mirror doesn't always tell the same story as the camera!
Anyhow, here I am at present:

The thing is, I know I'm overweight but I think I hide it quite well. I have seen pictures of people who weight the same or even less than me and they look bigger than me.
My thighs are my downfall though, I hold most of my weight on my thighs and butt - oh and don't mention my arms! lol
Well, there you have it - me being brave and posing for some pictures!
One day i will find the picture of me in my swimsuit when I was 19stone 8lb and I WILL post it on here so that you can see how far I've actually come. I see quite a few blogs where people are just starting out at the weight I am at now - yet I've already lost 4 stone to get to this point!
By the time I've got to my goal weight I will have literally lost half my weight! How scary is that! I can't wait to get to my goal weight and post before and after pictures! In the meantime I hope to stumble across that embarrassing swimsuit photo of me (we all have a picture like that don't we?!).

Weigh in #1

2010-10-30T13:18:00.001+01:00

Holy cow! Did you hear me?! I am shouting from the roof tops!
The reason? Well, where shall I start? Okay, let's get the weigh in out of the way first.
15 stone 8 lb (218 pounds) this morning! That's a loss of 2 lb. I've only been with WW for 4 days!
All that considering I went over my points last night when I had a glass of wine, a j20 and 2 (yes two!) Snicker bars.
Now, the big news ..... I bought 2 pairs of size 16 jeans in a charity shop. They were both brand new (excellent bargains!). I bought them with the goal of using them to monitor my weightloss/size change.
I didn't think I'd fit in them and that I could try them on every month to see if they fit so that I can see how my figure changes.
One pair shocked me because not only can I get in them but I can do them up! I admit they aren't 100% comfortable and they give me a bit of a muffin top but I am totally shocked that I can actually get them done up at all!
The other pair are a bit different; I can get them on (with quite a bit of wriggling) but there's no hope of me getting them babies done up! But that's not a bad thing, that's why I bought them! They are a bit short in the leg too, so once I do fit in them I will either give them back to the charity shop or cut them into cropped jeans/shorts.
Right, best get back to watching Gok Wan!

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Day before Weigh In (WI)

2010-10-29T11:54:00.001+01:00

I am so excited about my weigh in tomorrow.
I am not expecting to lose a remarkable amount of poundage but just 1lb would make me happy, then I'd know that I am getting this thing back under control.
I've been on my WW diet for 4 days and I'm feeling very positive about it. It's not leaving me ravishingly starved like I felt on the calorie control diet. I think I might at last have found the one for me.
Once a week I'm going to sit down and write out what I'm going to eat a week in advance with the point values. Leaving myself some points to play with which I can use if I do feel peckish or go to the pub or Costa at a moments notice.
I like organizing and planning but it also helps to occupy my time which I might otherwise spend sat infront of my computer stuffing my face as I do so!
Okay, best go, chin up folks, sending positive vibes to you all for a healthy eating weekend!

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Jumping in!

2010-10-26T21:16:00.001+01:00

I've gone and done it! I've only gone and actually joined WW online!
I joined yesterday but with intent of starting the diet properly from the weekend as I have to get new shopping in on Thursday.
I have started point tracking to try and get myself used to the system.
Today was going well until I took my son to the cinema & had a bag of popcorn. Oops!
I am very surprised how quickly my points go. I'm supposed to be on 23 a day.
I'm logging via my Android phone using it to access the WW website. I do have to use the 'original tracker' though as the new version doesn't seem to want to work properly on my phone.
Went to chiropractor today; my pelvis has slipped out of alignment again, due to walking too much on Sunday. Lesson learnt, I am going to have to take things slower.

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Walking in the Chilterns

2010-10-24T14:24:00.001+01:00

Am currently sitting in a pub about half a mile from home supping some nice Chenin Blanc after a fast hard walk in the Chiltern Hills.
My fiance and I went for a Sunday walk with a stop at another pub in the woods for lunch.
We are lucky to live in a celeb infested area as Sarah Harding of Girls Aloud lives just up the road at frequents the pub in the woods whilst the pub I'm sat in right now is regular haunt of our prime ministers past & present. David Cameron only came in a couple of weeks ago. His country estate; Chequers is just up the road too.
It was only a couple of months ago that I saw Jay Kay in Costa in our little market town ( he lives locally too). There are loads more celebs living locally but I wouldn't want to bore you!
Back to my walk; I have come to the conclusion that my fiance has OCD (Obsessive COMPETITIVE Disorder). I'm sure its from all the marathons he runs in! LOL.
We saw a group of ramblers and he just had to catch them and overtake them!
It was good to drive me on but my chiropractor told me not to push it too much and to listen to my body.

I wore my pedometer and will easily make 10000 steps easily in reach.
I might take my son to see the filum "Vampires Suck" tomorrow.
Got to get home soon to cook the family Sunday roast!

Not such a relaxing weekend after all.

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Getting my mind back on track

2010-10-23T12:25:00.001+01:00

I am setting myself some goals for next week. I have gone off track and am currently in a very low place but do ya know what, I'm not giving in to darkness and I will not allow myself to wallow in depression and stress. I am going to make baby steps back to getting on track.

Next week my baby steps goals are;
* Try to keep my comfort eating in check.
* Keep my weight at 219 pounds and if possible lose 1 lb but the goal is to not get into the 220's!
* Keep walking. I do still walk quite a bit in my everyday life and once I start WW I will make myself go for a walk everyday as part of my exercise plan.
* I am going to draw up a proper exercise plan and write it in my diary to make it an appointment with myself and everything else has to fit in around that. I am going to make myself a priority!
* I shall blog more, that way I feel more accountable.
* If possible I will join WW next week if I have enough money in my bank account.

Next week my son is off school as its holidays (again!) So trying not to let him wind me up is going to be a goal too.

Okay, baby steps here I come!

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Skip today!

2010-10-21T11:18:00.000+01:00

I wish I could skip today!
I have a meeting with my teenage sons school about trying to get him some help for his Aspergers! He has slipped through the education net completely and now it's all a little too late but I'm still going to do the best I can for him.
I could have really done with a trip to the pub to have a couple of large white wines so I could de-stress in preparation for the meeting but we didn't go. My Fiance didn't want to! I could kill for a wine right now!
It's only a matter of hours now until the meeting!
All I can do is take all my notes and go in armed and knowledgeable and afterwards get very drunk!
I know, it's not the way to sort things out but this whole school thing is such great stress for me.
I have definitely decided on joining Weight Watchers, I just have to save up so that I can join now, but as soon as I join - then I am going to give it 100% so although I am not splurging on purpose really at the moment I am just simply trying to deal with all the stress in my life. Once I get this school thing sorted hen life will get a bit easier and I can concentrate on me again.
I shall join WW and draw up a whole new exercise plan and in general plan my weeks, and I mean REALLY plan it!
I shall walk every day, figure in cycling and swimming again as well as my running.
Even if it takes me all day to get to and from swimming as I have to use public transport, at least I will be away from home, away from boredom and frustration that makes me comfort eat!
I miss my swimming so very much but I am just in such a depressed kind of state at the moment that I've lost motivation to do the things I used to love.
But I am going to shake myself back into things.
I have decided that my dream present for Christmas will be .............

an elliptical machine!
I doubt I'll get one though as they're incredibly expensive but oh how I'd love one! I think I could spend ours on it! lol

Trying to pick myself up!

2010-10-20T12:45:00.000+01:00

I have now been going to the chiropractor for a few sessions and it's great! Initially I admit I was sceptic but it's made such a big difference and I didn't even mind when he wanted to turn my back into a pin cushion with acupuncture!

He has found LOTS of issues with me - it's surprising that I managed to run at all really!

Firstly, there is an issue with my coccyx - several actually; the coccyx itself is painful still but not as bad as it was and the ligament that runs from neck to coccyx is an issue, BOTH ITB's are too tight - the right one is soooo tight it's pulling my kneecap out of alignment - which isnt' great especially as it's that knee that has osteoarthritis!

I have tightness in my upper and mid back, a weak ligament in my right foot and tight calf muscles.

The pain is so much more bearable now and I am not aware of it all the time - only at certain times when I do certain things.

The chiropractor is saying he reckons he can get me 100% within the next 4 sessions!

I admit - it is expensive but my lovely Fiance is paying and I really can't thank him enough as it means I am on the road to recovery and not in constant unbearable pain!

On the downside, It means I've had to stop running - so I haven't run regularly for over 2 months now and last time I tried I was knackered just trying to run for 2 minutes!

So, I have to accept I am back at square one but I guess that's not a bad thing. I trained before and I'll train again and get myself back up to running for 7 miles and more!

My weight is all over the place at the minute - I think I am bloated and suffering water retention BIG time!

So I shall ignore the 15stone 11lbs it read last time I got on the scales. I can't see how I've jumped up from 15st 9lbs to 15 stone 11lbs in a week! Well yeah, it could be possible, I know, but I haven't eaten that much more than normal!

Talking of eating, I am so fed up with how my diet has fallen off the track lately that I have decided to join Weight Watchers. I will probably just join online and won't be going to any meetings as I don't have a car.

I am currently waiting for Weight Watchers to reply to a query I've sent them as I've heard they're changing their points system so that the old way of tracking will become obsolete! Obviously i don't want to waste money buying all the points stuff and find out they don't use it as of November which is when the new plan comes in!

So, whilst I have made a decision to join, it's not happening right away this minute, plus I have to save up a little to be able to pay the initial fee.

Happily I can report that my chiropractor says I can start my walk to run plan again. So, I shall be back to running 1 minute, walking 2 minutes x 5. Frustrating and annoying as it is but I have to start from there and I HAVE to listen to my body - according to my chiropractor (which I admit I didn't maybe always do!).

I am also considering buying an exercise DVD. I'm quite taken with the Mel B one. It looks fun and interesting and I want her body! lol

I guess I haven't had a great time since my back went wrong - I've fallen off the road to fitness completely, but also my 15 year old son has been even more testing than usual and recently we went to a pediatrician and he was diagnosed with Aspergers. So, now I have to fight with his school to get him some help. It's all very draining and I've hit several lows.

But I shall try and pull myself up by my socks and get some kind of routine back into my life.

Tentative Run!

2010-10-06T11:20:00.000+01:00

Went for a very tentative run this morning - before day break!
I just figured on going round the little loop which is about 1.6 miles (lots of hilly bits though!) but I planned on running for a couple of minutes and then walking for a few more, just to see how my back felt and the fact I'm going stir crazy by not being able to run!
Well, I soon found out I've lost a heck of a lot of fitness as I haven't run regularly for a good couple of months at least! I think I'm going to have to reluctantly go back to a walk to run plan. It's not just because I've lost fitness but I think it would be a sensible approach with my current back issues. My back wasn't too bad whilst running. It has got a tiny bit better recently although nowhere near enough to be considered properly comfortable!
I'm hoping the chiropractor can give me some answers and really help me next week! I'm booked in for next Tuesday (12th October).
As for my weight, well it had gone up to15stone 9lbs (219lbs) and I was a quarter of a pound away from being 15 stone 10lbs! (heaven forbid, keep me away from double pound numbers purlease!!!!). However, I just decided to hop on the scales after my run and was quite happy to see that I was 15 stone 8lbs dead on!
Happy just not to have put weight on!

One giant pain in the a$$ (literally!)

2010-09-10T15:01:00.000+01:00

Big apologies for not posting recently but things just kinda hit a big low for me.
I was supposed to run in the Adidas Women's 5K Challenge in London last weekend but had to pull out - the reason being - my Coccyx!

Oh man - I dunno what I did to it but it has been agony for about 5 weeks now! I can't sit, I can't stand, I can't walk and running - well, that was somewhere in my past - a distant memory!

I am so angry about it!

The pain has been absolutely unbearable - the kind of pain that makes you feel sick and makes you just cry for no reason. The type of pain that makes you feel so sorry for yourself and so annoyed that you can't do the simple things you took for granted before - like raising your arms above your head - which obviously makes getting dressed and combing hair a bit of a challenge.

I have however been forcing myself out for a run about once a week.

I know, I probably shouldn't but the doc did say that he can't understand why it hurts so much because i'm standing up - so my tailbone shouldn't be touching anything.

However, I told him it wasn't the running bit that hurt so much - rather the bit where I breath - oh yeah, it's so bad it hurts to breath!

I am fighting a battle though, I am trying not to indulge in comfort eating and I am trying to hink positive that one day soon I might be able to get back to my beloved running again!

I am thinking I might just whack up on pain killers tomorrow and go for a 2 mile run.

It's not just my coccyx though as a few weeks ago when I recorded a personal best I also hurt my thigh muscles.

Gee, talk about not doing things by halves! lol

Well, I just wanted to pop a quickie note on here to explain my absence and to say that I am going to start blogging via my smartphone - although I can't upload pictures from it onto here, so I just thought i'd pop in now, make my apologies and put a few piccies up to explain things.

On a positive note - both my fiance and I are eagerly awaiting to hear if either of us get in to London Marathon 2011! We expect to hear during October - fingers crossed for one or both of us. Although if it's me, i'll definately have to defer it until 2012, I don't know how long this coccyx is going to take to mend.

I haven't lost any weight really, maybe the odd pound but at least I've managed to keep my weight in check and have it at least stabilised at 215lb at the moment.

Well, sorry to type and dash, gotta go try and wash my hair - ouch, that's going to be painful bending over my bath!

Sending my love and hugs to everyone and sorry again for not being here, but i'm back now - running or not and I shall keep you updated on my progress back to running!

Biggest Loser

2010-07-29T19:27:00.001+01:00

Okay, I am not normally one to blow my own trumpet but today I was Chuffed to bits that I should be announced as the biggest loser for week 2 in the Summer Weightloss group. I've never been the biggest loser weight-wise anywhere before.
It's such a great confidence booster. I took a sneak peak on the scales today and I still weigh the same as I did last week, I'm so annoyed with myself as although I haven't comfort eaten to my usual level, I have still comfort eaten.
My reason for doing so is because of my son. He is 15 years old and has been a challenge all of his life.
I am currently going through the process of getting him a diagnosis as the doctor suspects Aspergers.
I just feel constantly bullied by him at the moment & today I spent along time in tears.
Ah well, maybe tomorrow he might let me go swimming.

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Losing it!

2010-07-28T16:19:00.001+01:00

I managed to meet my weightloss goal this last week (wk 2 of Summer Diet Buddies).
I'm feeling really chuffed! I'm now 15 stone 4 lbs (214 pounds). I have never been that low since giving birth to my son 15 years ago! I can't wait to get to under 15 stone, I think I might cry with happiness. However, still lots more weight to lose once I get to that mini goal! I'm just trying to focus on little steps & mini goals along the way.
Sorry this is a 'quickie' but it's the first time i've used my Smart Phone to do a post & I wanted to share last weeks good news!

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Summer Diet Buddies

2010-07-23T12:34:00.000+01:00

Join Summer Diet Buddies

I have recently joined an online weight loss support group. As someone who loves to log details, progress and goals this group is brilliant! A weekly report on all our progress and a bit of a challenge to be the top 'Loser' of the week!

My Calorie controlled diet plan is going okay but sometimes it gets a bit lonely with no support - which is why I sought out an online support group.

My life has been a bit frantic this month but hopefully it's beginning to calm down now and I can post a bit more on the support groups forum pages.

But anyway, I haven't really set myself any definite goals in stone for the summer - other than to lose 2lb a week! I'd be happy if I achieved that goal alone! lol

My first week I lost a disappointing 1lb! I was gutted because of all the feelings of starvation that I experienced. I really hoped I'd lost the 2lb I was supposed to, but 1lb is 1lb weight loss non the less and it's better than a 1lb gain!

* Part of my goals/plan is to stop feeling so guilty if for some reason I can't stick to the plan for the day. If I go over for one day - then that was one day - tomorrow is another and so I won't beat myself up about it - because we all know what happens then - we turn to food to cheer ourselves up with a spot of comfort eating.

So, the idea behind letting myself off occasionally is to change the ~~weigh~~ way I view food and the relationship I have with it.

I am going to allow myself to be rewarded once a week. That can be anything from a yummy large sized Vanilla Soya Latte instead of a small one - to a higher calorie dinner than usual.

I will also use a reward of buying myself something nice. I don't always have money so my rewards can't purely be based on buying something every time.

* I am learning to say "No". I am not going to be a push over and do things for other folks all the time at my expense. I have turned into a doormat over the years and now is my time to stand up for myself.

* I am going to run 3 times a week. Yes, well that was going okay until I had a funny turn on a run 2 days ago. I was aiming for 7 miles - a distance I have done before and it was sunny and hot - but I've ran in hotter conditions previously but for some reason at the 5 mile marker I felt 'not right' and I decided to cut the run short at 5.5 miles. which is unlike me as I don't give up easily and am so stubborn and determined that I will carry on running until I drop dead! Well, I think I hit that point! I felt 'odd' yes but something REALLY nasty kicked in when I stopped to talk to a friend. I started seeing flashes of white and stars and was overcome with nausea and felt so disorientated that I might actually fall over!
I had to make my excuses to leave my friend quickly and try to head home. It was only 150 metres back to my house but I didn't think I would make it!
Luckily I did but had to lay on my bed with my head spinning and feeling like I wanted to hurl. I watched my heart rate on the monitor and although it did drop it didn't go down as fast as it usually does.
So..... I have taken the decision to take a week off running and I didn't go for my weekly swim today either as I'm still not feeling right.
Also, I am off to the pub shortly to eat something there to try and pep me back up. I have nothing but low cal stuff here and I feel I just need something more substantial. I suspect that I might have underestimated how many calories I should be eating a day.

* I had planned to start meditation again but haven't got round to it in the past week. Will try and aim for some next week though!

* I have been using my foam roller to sort out my back and ITB and it's working! Just gotta keep doing it daily.

* I have also failed at doing Home Workouts this week. UGH!

However, having said all of that, I am still feeling 100% positive and I think I may be in for some good news when I hop on the scales tomorrow!

Oh, stress levels have been sky high and had a lot on my plate trying to sort out my sons special needs as he has health issues and his school haven't been helping him. He suffers from constant bullying and the schools advice was "That's life, you've got to learn to live with it!"
Ohhhh, they make me so mad!
But we went to see our doctor yesterday and he was great! He is going to refer him for help as he thinks there is a definite health issue.
Phew!

Things might start to look up now!

Have a great weekend everyone and remember to not dish out so many tatties on your roast on Sunday!

Cookie Free Zone!

2010-07-12T13:38:00.001+01:00

As part of my new life style I am planning on getting out and about more, overcoming my social phobia and just trying to live life to the max and enjoy it.

So, today I went along to a village coffee morning. I have to admit that I've been pretty scared to go - so nervous you wouldn't believe it!

But I dragged along a friend today and we went! It was great - there were several faces from the village that I recognized and you'd be so proud of me - I only had one coffee and a plate of rather scrummy biscuits were places right under my nose and I was offered them several times, then they just sat there - these biscuits and cookies - under my nose - screaming "EAT ME!"

But I resisted the call of the Cookie Monster and didn't eat a single crumb of one!

I beat that Cookie Monster - he didn't get me and I feel so proud of myself!

New diet idea!

2010-07-12T13:20:00.000+01:00

I am so happy and positive about my weight loss again!
I have found the most wonderful website: http://www.foodfocus.co.uk/
It is basically a calorie counter website - but it's also so much more than that! It adds up whatever you eat - you just input it and it logs it all, then it tells you how many calories you have left! You can also log your exercise and then the website adds that into your calorie plan - making it easy for you - so, if you fancy a choccie chip cookie - all you gotta do, is do the right amount of exercise to earn it by losing those calories!
You can log anything - from gentle walking to gardening and working out and the website sorts out how many calories you burnt.
You input your weight, heights and body stats etc and so you can see your progress. It also gives you an expected goal date for you to achieve your weight loss by. I set mine up so that I lose 2lb a week and according to that I should hit my goal weight 29th April 2011!
It's really helped to motivate me.
It is a bit of a job having to stop and log EVERYTHING you eat and drink BUT.... I can access the website on my mobile phone - so I can always log in but also it makes you really think about what you eat - do you really NEED that choccie bar - coz if you do you have to go through the motions of 'logging' it and if you're just tired and eating coz you're tired then you simply can't be bothered to go through the process of 'logging' it - therefore you don't eat it!
It shows you what the food contains that you eat - eg. how much of the food is made up of carbs, protein, fat etc.
I personally love it!
I guess it might not suit everyone but it suits me 100%. It's going to take a whole lotta commitment to keep it up but I am stubborn and determined and I can really see the results there right in front of me on my computer or mobile phone screen!
I am fed up of being overweight. I lost 4 stone but got stuck - so now I want to shift the last 6 stone!
I can do this - I know I can!

As a result of all this calorie counting I have decided to menu plan! Something I always thought about but never got round to doing but now I have realised that this calorie logging idea will work easier if I make a menu plan for each week with the calorie content of everything written down right in front of me. Then I won't have to spend every minute of the day logging my activity or food intake, I can just do it at the end of the day.
That will help with the organisation of this type of diet.

I am going to design my own diet too!
I have been going through lots of magazines that my mom hands down to me after she's finished reading them and I have cut out LOTS of recipes, diet advice and motivation pictures and bits and bobs. I am going to make an organizer type folder to put all the recipes in and then it's easy to write down what I need for my shopping list each week and it'll be easy to pick it out from the folder and cook it up myself.

Can't wait to go into town on Friday when I go for my swim and reward myself with buying a neat folder for my new diet plan.

New purchases!

2010-07-12T09:43:00.000+01:00

Okay, I admit, I have had a little bit of a spend out lately - but for once I have made some pretty good decisions and am really chuffed with my new purchases.
So, here they are:

This is my little corner of the kitchen where I keep all sorts of home coking equipment. The only new addition to the 'gang' was my mincer. Which is the object at the front right hand side.

It's handy for making my home made mint sauce and also hope to use it to make my own burgers etc.

I've had to re-organize this area of my kitchen as I have started a great new diet programme and need to weigh my food a lot, so I dug out my scales and put everything out where I can easily find it!

Okay, I know, this is a grubby looking flip flop! But Since I bought these Thera-shoe flip flops I have been living out of them and use them whenever I go for walks and also when I spend all day on my feet on a Friday when I commute to my swim session. The bottom has a 'rocker' design and they are so comfy because they have the most amazing amount of cushioning in the sole area! My knee and painful big toe joints are 100% comfortable in these!

I was soooooo happy with these that I decided to buy the trainer version:

You have no idea how much I love these! LOL. They are based on the same design as MBT's but at a fraction of the price! They cost me £34.00 in Sports Direct (also where I got my flip flops from!).

I know that white is a dangerous colour but it shows up my tan so nice! LOL

I have done some walking in these and they take a bit more getting used to than the flip flops because the sole roll is much more obvious. But I have to say that they help me so much that I wouldn't mind running in these!

Last but not least is my Club Core Roller, purchased from: http://www.physicalcompany.co.uk/ The company is actually based very local to me but I came across the roller in an article in Women's Running Magazine and because i have back and various other muscle/joint issues I thought this would be helpful. It's excellent for stretching out the ITB and other various things that runners have issues with. I have already had it out (It only came this morning!) and rolled around on it and y back happily popped and cracked back into alignment, although my ITB screamed at me - Hmmmm, which would suggest that my ITB would certainly benefit form regular stretching out! My thighs and calves found it most awesome too.

My cat was quite impressed with it and had to have a go! He nearly got a foot in his face as I rolled around on it as he kept trying to sniff it - I think the smell of the foam roller does something for him?! LOL.

Right, I have to attend a coffee morning in the village today but I shall post about my new diet plan.

It's working too! It's hard, but works for me!

Real progress with long runs!

2010-07-05T14:41:00.000+01:00

I am one seriously happy runner! Today saw me do my longest run yet - 7 miles (11.26km)!
The best bit is - I didn't really feel ill or like I was going to die afterwards!
I never EVER thought I could run that far!
When I first started my running programme I struggled to run for 60 seconds but now look at me!
I can now officially run a 10K distance. Okay, so I might not be very fast - I did today's 7 miles in 1 hour 32 Min's, 28 seconds and averaged a pace of 13.12 minute miles. BUT.... and it's a big BUT; the route was really hilly!
I have only ran once since my last long run - a week ago and have gone swimming once too, so I think that's not too bad actually.
My knee isn't too bad either. It's painful - as always but it doesn't feel like it wants to fall off! My shins aren't too bad either, very slight heat and tenderness in the troublesome one but I'm sure that it'll be spot on perfect in a couple of days. Those physio exercises have really made a big difference to my shin splints. My Achilles on that right leg is still tight and I feel it's tightness after I run - especially today, but I do cool down stretches and I guess it's just going to take time for that to get better.
Having said that my knee wasn't too bad, I have made the decision to go back on my meds for it:

Naprosyn are the ones for my Osteoarthritis and they're flipping great! However.... you have to take Lansoprazol too because Naprosyn can cause stomach ulcers if taken long term. Hence why I don't take them long term. I only take them when my knee gets really annoying.

I really do hate taking tablets so I shall only be on these for about a month. I just don't like the idea of shoving chemicals into my body - especially ones that cause stomach ulcers!

My swimming is going well and I have mastered freestyle (front crawl) now! I could do it when I was younger but as I got older and fatter I stuck with breaststroke but now I can motor up and down in front crawl and even as fast as some of the other more professional looking folks! I can't help but race them if we're going up side by side! lol

I think I might enter a local 10K in August. I hope i can improve on my time by then as I really don't want to be the last person across the line!

Also, I have renewed excitement about my Adidas 5k Women's Challenge in September. I can't wait to see what my time for this one is now! Last year I struggled to get in under 40 minutes - I am kinda hoping to get in this year under 37 minutes.

My weight loss is a real struggle at the moment. I just seem to have stabilized at 15 stone 9lb (219lb) but I have been dipping down to 15.7 (217lb) several times within the last 2 weeks. It's just a struggle to get it there and stick it there!

I am still on the slimfast plan but am also looking at creating my own diet plan - especially for me. One that is tailored to my needs and leaves me satisfied but also losing weight. I am trawling through endless magazines that I have kept over many months and am taking out all the recipes and diet ideas etc. I am going to design my own health and fitness folder with a detailed plan of action to follow. It will include diet plan and exercise plans etc, plus tips for healthy living.

Once I get the thing done I shall post some pictures.

I'd love to join Slimming World (a friend was recently telling me all about it and it sounds great!) but I can't afford the membership, it's way out of budget for me!

Well, this week looks like this:

MONDAY: Long run 7 miles.

TUESDAY: Cycle into town and back (total of 6 miles approx)

WEDNESDAY: Run 5K

THURSDAY: Home Workout

FRIDAY: Swim (with lots of flipping walking to get me there!)

SATURDAY: Long run - 7 miles (I will then get my long runs back on track to Saturdays!)

I usually do long runs on Saturdays but my Fiance did two 10k's the last 2 Saturdays and I went along to support him. The first Saturday I did plan on going but got heatstroke so ended up taking it easy at home instead.

Can't believe the progress I am making now!

If I can do it - anyone can!

Meal Replacements (Slimfast)

2010-07-01T10:03:00.000+01:00

I know it's been a wee while since my last post and for that I apologise. Lots of things have been going on here; a friend living on my Close died and I attended the funeral and now I'm trying to help my brother become the next resident of his house. It's a housing association home and so they have now started their process of looking for a new tenant. My brother is desperate to come back to the village where he was born and I am desperate for him to come back too!

My teenage son is also a handful with his 'challenging' behaviour and so to be honest, I've been feeling quite low.

But anyway, back to my healthy lifestyle update.

I am so annoyed with my weight loss - or lack of! I have stabilized at 15 stone 9 lb and I just can't shift it! I starve, I eat, I exercise, I try everything but it's just not shifting!

So I am trying something else for a couple of weeks to try and get it going in the right direction.

I am trying a meal replacement diet (aka Slimfast).

I am also going to try charcoal capsules, apparently they are supposed to help IBS. They absorb the gasses!

I am looking forward to my weekly swim tomorrow and my trip to the health food store;

This is where I buy the charcoal and other goodies from. I could seriously spend a fortune in here!

I also bought some Aloe Vera juice:

Again, this is supposed to help my IBS.

My running has been going okay. I have had problems with my Osteoarthritis in my knee again so had to knock a couple of runs on the head whilst I let it rest but I am still pushing onwards now! My next long run is due to be 7 miles! That will be next weekend. I am still running the 5k distance regularly and I never thought I'd say this but I find it so easy now! I remember when I first started training and it was such a struggle to go that distance - it was so far it might as well have been a marathon! But now the 5k distance is my regular run around the block.

My Fiance ran a local 10k race last weekend and he's running another next weekend (I will get pictures of next weekend's race!). I considered doing these myself but I am just not that confident yet. It's different to entering a marathon - in a marathon there are LOADS of people and there will always be someone slower than you, someone larger than you, someone wearing more pink than you! But in these 'local' races the field is much smaller and fitter. I did have a sneak peak at the race photos to see what the sizes and states of fitness the last group of people finished as. Looking at some of them, they look the same size as me and even bigger than me. If they can do it - surely I can too?

I want to, I really do but I am so not confident. I'm not running quite 10k distances at home yet either. Oh I know, I'm only just over half a K short of that distance but I spluttered round in 1 hour 21 minutes last time. So I guess I could do a 10K in 1 hour 24 Min's. that is so slow, I am so scared of finishing last and looking like a fool. A fat person who thinks they are a runner!

The winner crosses the line in like 20 something minutes!!!!! UGH!

Anyway, next year I will do both these runs, I will be okay to run that distance by then.

On a good note i did get smiles a shouts from workmen as they passed me in their van on my last run. I do believe they were nice shouts - not ones of abuse as to why a fat person was trying to run! lol

6 miler!

2010-06-08T13:19:00.000+01:00

Saturday saw my longest run yet! the day started at 5.20am when my alarm clock woke me from my happy place, lost deep within sleep land and as I fumbled for that darn button to turn off it's electronic shrieking I did (just briefly) wonder WHY? Why would anyone get up at 5.20am on a Saturday morning, least of all to run 6 miles!

Well, the reason for my early ride was that I knew it was going to be a hot day and I absolutely HAD to do this 6 miler no matter what the weather was doing, so decided to look and act like a proper runner and get my butt out there on the tarmac as early as possible to beat the heat.

A wise choice as it turned out to be our hottest day of the year so far!

The run went well. I decided NOT to try for yet another fast time - I seem to be on a PB mission at the moment and managed to convince my competitive streak that a 6 mile run in itself was a PB for me, plus I REALLY wanted to keep my heart rate inside a zone where death was not only inevitable but guaranteed!

I aimed to keep it under 90% of MHR for this run! So, slow and steady was the order of the day.

Which, I can report back now, I achieved! YAY! My heart rate went up in the last kilometre but I let it go because I wanted to finish the run with a faster run and a strong push to the finish.

I finished feeling really good with myself. My time of 1 hour 25 minutes wasn't anything to write home about but it was my first 6 mile run.

My shins hardly hurt either, so all in all i was well pleased with myself and even happier to see that my Nike + said I had burnt about 900 calories! Well worth putting myself through that just for the calorie loss alone!

So.... there's me thinking - onwards and upwards, then.....

Yesterday I went for my Tempo session. It was a bit rushed because my parents were coming round to help me erect a new outdoor rotary washing clothes drier. So... i didn't warm up as much as I should have. I don't normally go into masses of stretches as I have found I actually get injured that way! So, I usually stretch just my calves (as my physio showed how) and do some crunches and back stretches. Well, it was rushed and I guess I didn't do what I should have. I also felt rushed in my mind. It didn't feel right from the word GO! I couldn't get into a rhythm and got caught up down a narrow lane with a dustcart blocking it - so my run had to pause - don't you just hate having to pause your run?! Anyway, I powered down the hill following that incident and because aware that my shin was hurting. My knee cap already felt 'loose', as it does sometimes because of my Osteoarthritis. Well, today I am paying for it! My knee is so painful I can barely walk. I'm sat here with a knee brace on and considering taking my old anti-inflammatories, but trouble is - I don't know if I can because I'm on Prozac and I don't know if it will clash. I also have to take a gut protecting drug with the anti-inflamms because of the risk of stomach ulcers and I'm pretty sure the gut meds would clash with the Prozac.

So, for now I just have to suffer and sulk; feeling angry with myself and gutted because it's looking like I shall have to take a week off running to let my knee recover. I was supposed to do another 6 miler this coming Saturday and followed the next 2 weeks by 7 milers on Saturdays.

Gutted beyond belief! I really wish my body wouldn't keep breaking down!

I just want to run like everyone else.

Run and be free!

Swimming

2010-06-01T14:22:00.000+01:00

My Swimming Pool!

Just gotta say how much I LOVE my regular swimming pool. It's called Aqua Vale and is in Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire. Unfortunately it's quite far away from where I live and not that close to the train station either! To get there without borrowing my fiance's car would consist of getting the train, walking and then trying to get on the right bus. I'd miss the early riser swim too - which is cheap rate!

I say all this because I usually borrow my fiance's car on Fridays but he is hoping to change his job soon and I fear the days of me being able to borrow his car will come to an end as the new job is a long way away.

I am hoping that I won't have to give up my swims as I really do enjoy them.

Today I swam 50L in 37 minutes. I had to change my 'swim day' because it's the school half term holidays over here and I took my son and his friend.

The pool was really busy but I really do love swimming here! It's a large newish sports complex which includes a modern new gym and exercise studios. It is based in a decent sized park with tennis courts and outdoor sports facilities.

There is an outdoor pool, a leisure water complex with rapids and lots of other fun things - ohh, and the bubbly jacuzzi spa type areas and bubble loungers!

Indoors has a nice big indoor competition pool with an adjustable floor:

Normally there are 3 or 4 lanes in the deep end for those of use who like to concentrate on our lanes.

Sometimes it amuses me because some folks go into the lanes and just chat! They swim next to each other, hogging the lane chatting away! They could go into the other half of the pool which is for the more leisurely folks who aren't doing laps!

I'm not claiming to be a fast swimmer but I like to get out there and do my laps in a certain amount of time. I don't get too stressed over the folks who swim there - as they have every right, like I do to be there but why the hell can't they take their conversations over to the other half of the pool?!

I'm shrinking & it's my birthday!

2010-05-28T14:55:00.000+01:00

Yes, it's definitely true - you read the title correctly! At last I feel I have dropped a dress size again.
I haven't lost any more weight - but it's stabilized at 15stone 9lb at the moment (still a bucket load of weight to go!) BUT... I am definitely losing inches! After the run yesterday I decided that I'm really going to have to get more running tights as my others are literally falling off me and excuse the pun - but it's a pain in the ass to have to keep hoicking the back of my running tights up whilst running! They are Lycra for Gods sake - they will cling to quite a few different sizes but if you shrink they definitely stop clinging - so I can take this as confirmation that I have indeedy shrunk! Oh yeah!
When I first started my journey I weighed 19st 9lb and was a UK size 24 (USA 22) and admit to having one item that was a UK size 26 (USA 24).
My goal is to be a UK size 8/10 (USA 6/8)
My latest drop has seen me go from a UK size 18 (USA 16) to a UK 16 (USA 14).
I know I'm still a lump but I am finally beginning to believe I CAN do this, I AM losing inches, I AM shrinking! YAY!

I own jeans that literally hang off me too and if they have a much bigger gap than the ones above! If I didn't have a belt on then I am not kidding - but I can get them off without undoing them - just pull my jeans off with the zipper and button done up!

I have taken some pictures of myself - I will post them up here later on, once I've lost a bit more weight so that the weight loss is more visible. I also have a picture somewhere of me looking like a beached whale in a nasty swimsuit, I will be brave and put that on here if I can find it too - trouble is - I was so ashamed of it - I've hidden it! lol

Monday marks my 36th birthday! I really want to be fabulous at 40! Well, hopefully fabulous before then because I am hoping to get married in 2012 and I'd love to be able to wear a really lovely wedding dress in a smaller size.

1st June marks my monthly body stat record. I will measure myself, write down them down in my training log and see how many inches I've lost. Even if I don't lose weight I KNOW I have lost inches. The weight will shift, I just gotta be patient. I am doing everything right, so just gotta hang on in there!

Tomorrow I am doing another 5 mile run with my fiance - same route as last week and he'll vanish at the half way mark to get us more sport drinks from the shop and then he'll have to catch me up - I am planning on trying to get much further away from him this time - really want to impress him!

I shall take my Carb sweets and last time I really struggled at the 4 mile mark and felt I had nothing left for the last mile. They are only little lucozade carb jelly sweets. Last time I put them in my tiny Lycra pocket of my running tights and whilst in the town I was aware a jelly had escaped and gone down my leg - there he sat, looking like I had some massive cyst on my thigh! Well, I couldn't find anywhere private to enable me to stick my hand down my tights and retrieve it so I just stuck my hand down there - in full public view and got it back and put it somewhere safe - in my mouth!

At least it made my fiance laugh. The down side was that whilst fiddling around the other sweets fell out of my pocket and so I didn't have any more left! Eeek!

I shall wear different tights next time - with a zip pocket at the back. Just hope the jelly sweets don't melt into the small of my back!

Happy weekend everyone - Is a bank holiday here in the UK - hope everyone is making the most of it!

Catch you on the flip side!

My Training Diaries

2010-05-27T13:29:00.000+01:00

Just thought I'd give you all a peek inside my training diary.

Firstly, I keep everything neat inside a little bag and yes, it's pink and yes, I have a pink pencil case!

Above is my schedule diary; in here I write down ONLY my planned weekly workouts:

I don't record any of my exercise information in it - just simply write down what to do on which days, and then I put a little tick - or a cross next to it if I did it.

The above is my training diary 'log book'. I record all my exercise info inside - including a section for Statistics - which I monitor EVERY month. I write down things like: Weight, BMI, Body Fat content, Body Water content, Body Muscle content, Calories used per day. I also note down my vital measurements: Waist, Belly - which isn't the same as my waist because I never lost the wobbly bit above my belly button after I had my son - so I record that too! lol. Hips, Thigh, Calf, Upper Arm, Chest and under bust.

To find out my body fat percentages etc I use a hand held sensor.

Above shows my layout for Statistics.

Inside the front I keep my weight graphs, smiley face stickers (for when I have a good run - I stick them on the page!) and also a little chart showing mile - kilometre conversion.

Above is my weight graph. It looks a bit like a mountain range! lol. This was my original one - so my current weight is lower than above and is a bit more stable than this graph.

Yay! My smiley face stickers!

I use a system of drawing a little face for my 'Before', 'During' and 'After' exercise. Depending on how the run/workout went depends on what kind of face I draw!

Sample of my post exercise face system.

Above is a sample of my run log - showing a very good run on the left - note the smiley faces at the top!

I write down things like the route I took, the weather, the time I set out, total run time, mood before, during and after (using the drawn face system) and I note down what type of run it was; eg: steady, long, tempo, fartlek etc. I also log the distance, my pace per mile and my speed in MPH.

Above shows my diet journal!

I just use a page a day to log down what I ate for breakfast, lunch and snacks and if they were pre or post run/exercise etc.

Physio for shin splints

2010-05-26T13:15:00.000+01:00

The past week has been good, finally things are picking up again.

Saturday I did my longest run yet - a 5 miler. It was a blisteringly hot day! I ran it with my Fiance and at the half way point he stopped off at a Tesco store to pick up some more lucozade sport drinks for us and had to catch me up as I ran on. It was a great incentive actually, it made me push myself so that I achieved a decent distance between us. As he is an experienced runner, I am always feeling guilty that when he runs with me our pace is too slow for him, so it was good for him too to do a shorter faster burst to catch me up. I felt quite chuffed when he said that I had got further ahead of him than he expected!

I was (in a sadistic way) looking forward to my shin blowing up and being painful as I had my first physio appointment on Monday and I wanted it to be 'bad' so that I could show them what it's like at it's worst!
However, my shin didn't blow up - strange!
Well, the physio took one hour and was great. She was impressed with my 4 stone weight loss and the effort I'm putting in to my fitness and she was even more impressed with my hamstrings! Apparently they are 'amazing' and are better than hers! lol
However, she soon located the shin problem - apparently it all stems from a tight right calf muscle! Which has probably been caused by my leg tensing up to protect itself when I first had osteoarthritis. She said that I need to learn to use my muscles properly again as I'm using my shin to pull my leg through rather than the hamstrings to lift my leg. Also, we figured out that the route I took on my 5 miler was better for my shin because it was mostly on paths and not having to contend with the camber of the roads - which is really severe on some of my other routes.

The physio has said I don't need to see her again and has given me some exercises to do. She has given me her number in case things don't go as planned and then she can see me again. Here are some of the exercises she's given me to do to loosen up my calf:

I already do this stretch but to make it more intense I have to bend the knee of the leg that's back! This is how the physio figured out I had a tight calf - because I couldnt' bend the knee! ha ha

This is how to make it more intense by bending the back knee. I have to hold it like this for 30 seconds.

I already do this prior to running!

I have to use a 'step' and do heel raises and sinks too!

This I already do prior to a run too.

I have lots of other exercises on my sheet to do too to help my calf and shall incorporate these into my home workouts after my runs. I still do 10 minutes calf related stretches prior to every run.

Things are going well with my Nike +, just some fine tuning on the calibration to do though.

I also got my heart rate monitor:

Polar ft4

I decided to get the 'mans version' as I sometimes wear a sweat band on my wrist with a pocket in it for my house key and I needed it to fit over that. But the mans size is so adjustable that it'd fit quite a small wrist too - as well as large ones - obviously.

I think I need to find out what my heart rate zones are as although it does automatically figure out what your heart rate zones are, I was a little concerned that this morning's Tempo run was mostly at 95% of max heart rate! Yikes! That's supposed to be dangerous!

I know it was a Tempo session so I should have been working out between 85% - 90% but 96%! Oh no - that's too high! lol

Was a great gadget though and the chest strap was so comfortable, I didn't even know I was wearing it!

I was suitably impressed with today's run - I scored a new PB on my Tempo route - shaving off 165 seconds - which is quite a lot to shave off!

I have one more run this Saturday of 5 miles, then up it to 6 miles! I am going to do at least one 10k this year too - I have my sights set on a specific one. I just worry that these local 'races' are full of fast runners who are 'racing' and then there will be me - a lumbering fat lump at the back of the field that everyone has to wait to finish before the officials can go home! ha ha

So... I shall check out some times from previous years of this race and aim to get round - not last!

Slipping......

2010-05-19T15:53:00.000+01:00

It isn't turning out to be a good week! I have to admit that both my running AND my dieting are a struggle since last weekend.

First of all, I did my long run on Saturday - which to me didn't go very well, it felt hard. Even though I was on about a usual time it just felt awful. I didn't feel I achieved anything, other than to get hot and angsty.

It actually left me feeling quite aggressive - which my poor Fiance felt the harsh end of when we popped down the allotment to plant broad beans!

To cut a long story short - I was rummaging around in the shed and the darn hoe fell out and hit my straight in the face - which ultimately ended with the hoe being thrown javelin style across my allotment plot!
Me bad!
Anyways, after much heated conversation I apologised and cried.
So.... WTF was that all about? I thought running was supposed to de-stress me - not wind me up like a spring-loaded rubber ball!
Then the diet disaster bit struck - well, actually, that started last week - I had a MacDonald's Big Mac meal. I dont' have them that often - only about once every 2 months but I felt so flipping guilty this time; probably because I actually enjoyed it so much I could have eaten another (don't fret - I didn't!).
I get on the scales Saturday for my weekly weigh in and find I've put on 2 pounds! Grrrrr!
Yesterday was demon day number two; my son emailed me from school to say his school shoes had fallen apart and needs a new pair ASAP! I rang my dad who had offered to pay for them anyway and got him to give us a lift into town (I don't have a car). Well, by the time we'd brought the shoes and I had brought the cat food (which my grocery delivery had completely missed and yet charged me for (can you feel the stress rising?), It was getting late and I didn't fancy cooking so we popped into KFC to pick up a meal! OMG what am I doing?!
We struggled through it at home.
I weighed myself today - only as a check and luckily I've not put any more weight on - but by golly - I really gotta lose something by Saturday!
I went for a 'steady' 35 minute run today. The Nike + seems a bit better calibrated but I have to accept that unless I'm running on the flat then it won't ever be 100% accurate but I'm really chuffed with it as it is and don't regret buying it.
It was really helpful having the lady butting in and telling me how long I had run and how long I had left and what my pace was etc.
I really have to put some more songs on it though.
Anyway, today's run was disgustingly slow. i know, I know - it was only supposed to be a slow steady run anyway but EEEEEK!
My shins are aching again, I just can't touch my right one at the moment, it's so painful. Luckily I have physio on Monday, I hope they don't say I have to have a break from running! NO WAY!

I am not sure why my diet is struggling at the moment. I suspect I'm angsty and comfort eating.
Possibly spending too long sitting at the computer. I should be getting outside and working in my garden or down that allotment!

By end of Saturday I have 2 goals to meet - Number One is to lose at least 1lb of weight (the more the merrier) and Number Two, I am doing my longest ever run - 5 miles. Two weeks ago I felt like I could do it, so I know I can, It's just all these issues in my mind.
I really have to find out why running makes me feel aggressive sometimes? It's happened twice now, I hope it doesn't become a regular thing! lol

Oh, and I managed to insert myself into my new run bra. It felt quite tight but I guess it's supposed to be. Jury is still out on what I think about it - will have to run a bit more in it. I have to say that my old bra actually gave as much support as the new one so I shall buy a new one of my old bra (make sense?) and hope I shrink down a bit more to fit into my new bra. lol

New toys review!

2010-05-17T08:50:00.000+01:00

Finally after months of saving I have brought some of the new ~~toys~~ gadgets I have been promising myself. It all seemed a great reward for my recent week of most excellent runs. I really felt I had earned my new gadgets.

Okay - lets get this review underway, first up is....

Shock Absorber Run Bra:

I already have a previous Shock Absorber max support bra but this one I had heard such great reviews and really needed a new bra now as I've has my old one for a year.

It didn't start well, Amazon sent me the wrong colour but it's not a problem at all really and I found the black one they sent doesn't really show up under my white running top and if it did then so what - it's not the end of the world.

Then I tried to get the bra on! OMG what a saga that was! Not only does it have the usual back fastening but it has a clip higher up which is impossible for me to do up once the bra is on and my hefty jugs are in their cases! I tried several different techniques of doing various bits up, getting into it then doing up the rest and after about 3 different goes I managed to get it on and done up!

WOW! This bra sure isn't going to be letting my puppies move! It felt incredibly snug but in a reassuring kind of way. However, the down sides are that I wished I had gotten a bigger size. Even though I am a 38DD I could have done with a 40DD to help me get the darned thing on in the first place and once it was on I noticed it bunched up some of my flab on my back between my shoulder blades - giving me a kind of tiny hunch! However, I am sure that once I stretch and move my arms around that would have disappeared.

So... today I went to try it on for a run and do you think I could get into it?! NO WAY! I couldn't get it done up. It doesn't help that I have injured the tendon in my left elbow and so am unable to bend or straighten my arm properly at the moment. Maybe if my arm was okay I might be able to get into it.

So.... sadly I had to put it back on it's hanger in the cupboard and put on my older bra. I have since checked out Amazon and a few other places on line to find a 40DD but to no avail. Surely they must go up to that size?! What I will do is hang onto the new bra as I am shrinking and hope that one day soon I shall be able to wear it comfortably. In the mean time I shall have to purchase another bra like my old one.

I'm very disappointed as I believe the Shock Absorber is a wonderful bra and would hold everything in place. I don't blame the bra for being a bad fit, but I do suspect that the sizing is slighter different to what you might expect. I've since heard a few others say this too. So, it is with anticipated breath that I wait until the day I can fit into my bra - once I've 'Googled' a way of getting into it! lol

Okay, second on my list:

IPOD NANO:

Oh wow! This is amazing! It's my first ever Ipod and I am in love! The whole touch/rotation control thing is just wicked! So modern. I feel like I've been lost in some cave for many years - behind everyone else with technology but now I have this - I am there - with the rest of you!

I saved up to get the 16GB version and combine the Ipod with my FREE (yes - you heard it - FREE!) Nike + kit and what you get is the most awesome training buddy!

I managed to get my Nike + free because I do a shopping scanner survey at home. What I have to do is scan all my shopping every week with a hand held scanner that the company http://www.factfinders.com/

provide and I earn points - which turn into prizes! I can redeem my points for a wide selection of quality articles and the Nike + kit used up only half my points - I'm so thrilled!

Anyway, I went for a run yesterday to calibrate it all for my specific pace and ran my one mile - but pushed the wrong darn button and wiped my one mile run! UGHHHHH!!!!

It was my fault - I was so excited and enjoying listening to the American lady who was telling me how much longer I had left that I didn't actually pay attention to which button I should push! lol

Anyways, I walked back one mile to set the 'Walk Pace', so all isn't lost! Today I am going for a run and will do a Fartlek session (was previously planned for Thursday but I shall swap the session around this week) and as I run for one mile to warm up, I shall re-calibrate the Nike + in that one mile. No problemo!

I love my Ipod and I love my Nike +!

So... for the Ipod I brought an armband - I had read reviews of many various ones and decided to go for...

Tune Belt Sport Armband.

It is a great armband! The Ipod fits snugly and with the Nike + attached it fits like a glove with enough room for the whole Ipod and Nike + to be completely covered, so no danger of it falling out whilst running!

It has a hidden pocket for keys or a tissue or a gel etc (pocket was so well hidden I couldnt' find it originally - but it's behind the back of the Ipod once you have it in! lol).

It also has a little Velcro strap that helps keep any loose earphone cable out the way.

The armband is made of neoprene so your arm might sweat a little under it but it's not a problem. My arm didn't sweat any more excessively than any other armband I've used in the past.

My arms are quite large at the moment at the top yet this armband still managed to fit round them! I really can't recommend this armband enough! The plastic window is tough yet I can still operate the Ipod through it perfectly well!

I also brought some Ipod remote with mic earphones to enable me to operate the volume and to skip forward a song whilst running. They were expensive but I figured a good buy.

* I did notice that on the Ipod, once connected to the Nike + (when going through the set up and settings bit) that there is a possibility of connecting your Nike + to a heart rate monitor - obviously one made by Nike specially for the Ipod Nike + thing. I looked into it on the Internet and was disappointed to see it hasn't actually come out yet. Apparently it was due for release in 2009 but as yet - we are still waiting! It sounds wonderful - I can have everything connected to my Ipod and Nike + and at the touch of a button I can monitor everything. I just hope that they don't decide to bring out a heart rate monitor shortly after I go and buy myself a Polar one! lol It'd be just my luck really wouldn't it?!*

I also should stress that when I first started running I scoffed at the idea of wiring yourself up to such devices and went on the theory that you should just 'RUN'. However, last year I suffered terrible heat exhaustion - I just don't know when to quit pushing myself, so a heart rate monitor would be a good investment to tell me if I'm pushing myself too hard.

But as for the Nike + and Ipod - I guess I just dont' have an excuse for that. They are just my indulgences - my rewards for becoming a ....... RUNNER!